Polyamory Relationship Issues
New here and very hopeful for some help and assistance as well as maybe helping others. I have been married for 17 years, together for 20 years. We agreed to a polyamorous relationship. However, it was supposed to be more of a throuple relationship, but our current relationship has turned more into two separate relationships. This is mainly my fault because I had a hard time and made a really big deal about things in the beginning when I really shouldn't have. But now it's at this point and two out of the three people are happy with it moving in this way. So I need help with emotionally dealing with us. I'm having a very hard time emotionally dealing with it even though I know it makes him happy and is not harming our relationship. I am just overthinking and being stuck on certain things. I'm open to any advice that anyone might have that could help me.
@crafteddreams
I have only witnessed this in friends relationships and what seemed OK at first has ended in 2 of the three moving on....it is hard to let go of somethings but if you are not OK with those things and just pretending because they seem all good it will end poorly.
I think of every 3 person Friendship in children....... when you have 2 BFF and one who seems to be a third wheel.
@crafteddreams
Ask yourself do you want this relationship?
Are you doing because other partner like it and want to continue. U want to continue because u had agreed on it from start ?
If u are not comfortable how long you going to carry on ?
People are comfortable in doing it when their emotions are less attached and lust is more. They are very pratical. It not easy thing.
So u don't have to be okay because others doing same are okay. You have to accept the what you r feeling and find solution accordingly. At the end you are human .
Hi! I would love to support you in a chat if you'd like. The questions that come to mind for me right now are (1) how was the polyamorous relationship structure initiated? (2) which relationship changes are you unhappy with or worried about? (3) how are you communicating with each other?
Feel free to reach out in a chat with me, I'm here to listen and hopefully guide you along in this process :)
If this has caused you distress than it can be said that it hurt your relationship. It would be beneficial to resolve what is causing you distress.
I guess defining what everyone involved want and where do problems arise would help.
You say that you think that it your fault. I guess you should ask them what happened rather than just assume. Humans generally have problem achieving good communication.
I wonder about how many polyamory relationships can actually work well. I guess that now that more and more people engage in them, more info about such relationships will be gathered and something will be learned.
I hope that helps.