Sensitive

I know exactly how you feel. I am currently in high school and so the amount of stress and worries I carry everyday increases. My dad’s comments always affected me in some sort of way. People always say to ignore what he says but it’s not as easy as it seems right? I would always get compared whether indirectly or not based on classes, grades, clubs and other stuff. I would always feel like I am not good in enough and I was soooo sensitive over every little thing he said. But I think the reason I was like that is not just cuz of what he used to say but also because I was afraid to disappoint him. I was always so afraid to disappoint him and seem like a failure that even I started comparing myself. Though I’m trying to grow and become better, his comments still annoy me in some sort of way. But it also may be because I’m scared whatever he says could be the eventual truth. 

I think if we work hard enough, those comments and things that are so sensitive to us will feel irrelevant and only what we feel will be our number 1 opinion. I hope you can do that and grow as a person too❤️

@wisteria28

No wonder that you feel that way when the people who should be closest to you are constantly only critical of you, putting you down, comparing you to your sibling and, even seemingly... wanting to make you feel self conscious about how you look? That's really heartbreaking to hear and nobody should have to go through that.

You said you didn't get hurt by this as much before, but that can easily be because, after a while, constant criticism and undermining... It just piles up, and up, and even if you try to bottle it up for a long time (even years), one day, the glass will simply overflow. Often, this may feel like it came completely out of nowhere until, one day, you just collapse.

Know that it's ok to feel how you feel - it's ok to be sad, ok to feel hurt - you have a very valid reason for it.

Taking your parents (individually) aside and having a serious conversation about it might help, if you are close to them and you know they will actually listen.... on the other hand, seeing how they are already scrutinizing you, they might try to further invalidate your feelings and get defensive to justify their abusive behaviour, and this could get even worse... so, just be careful, no matter what you do, and stay safe.

...In meantime, maybe reading something about narcisstic parents (and people), and how to survive living with them, could also be helpful in your situation, as it seems that this is not a new behaviour for them, from what you shared, but something they've done for a long time,  but only recently, it just started to get too much – which is understandable.

I hope things get better for you!