This happens every year
I am not sure that this is the most appropriate place for this
Back in 2016, I had let go of a very toxic crush after being dragged. in through a vicious cycle for 12 years. He would >>>>>> Flirt with me>>>>>>Act like he was mad at and ignore me by talking about me behind my back. If I logged on onto an IM, he would suddenly log off. All the while, he had no interest in me and would constantly do things that made me feel very angry and hurt.
Despite that, I still wish to see him whenever two conventions come up that we both attend. I keep thinking that things will be different. Still, I know that he does not like me and made it clear by so many other actions when he did not manipulate me and play mind games. So I need to find some strategies to let him go,
@Summershy
You deserve so much better.
Talking about you behind your back.
Being rude.
Dismissing you.
What is there to like?
Walk into that convention with your head held high!
He doesn't determine your worth or likeability.
Don't waste time in people who don't see you.
Enjoy the convention and finally leave him behind 💜💕
@Amanda84
First of all, I cut him off nearly 9 years ago and pretty much let him go. However, there were a few occasions where he tried to reconnect with me on a social media platform and an online communication platform. When I asked him what he needed, he said that he wanted to know if he could finally get along. However, he said that he did not have the courage to talk to me.
Still, he has a history of playing games with me through leading me on through being manipulative by flirting with me and building my hopes up. Then he would go behind my back and complain to other people about how I was "Chasing him." He would also tell those other people that he "Didn't like me," because I was chasing him. Then one other time, I saw that he has called me a "Spazz" behind my back because I am so hyper.
So I need to remind myself that he did call me that
@Summershy
Anyone who can call you that, is not worth a second of your time 💜
@Amanda84
I had a chance to read through all of these posts. Other people said that it sounded like he was only flirting with me like that because he just wanted to get attention. So I did some research on convert narcissism and flirting. What I read fit his behavior to a tee. I also finally a chance to accept that he's a covert narcissist by talking about how to treated me. Then after that, I was not able to have this romantacized fantasy anymore. Rather, I felt some anger and hurt. Additionally, I don't have anymore desire to see him at this year's con or ever again.
@Summershy
Im definitely happy to hear that 💕💜
@Amanda84
After finally accepting that he abused me psychologically and narcissistically, I was able to burst my bubble and feel the hurt and trauma.
However, he love bombed me for 6 months in 2013 and really made it sound like he was giving me a chance. Sadly, I bought it. Then after that period, I reached out at wished him happy birthday only to hear from his roommate that he has changed his number. He also never seemed to reach out to me even though my hopes were built up. Then meanwhile, I planned on seeing him at another convention where he completely snubbed me.
To let go of this what people are saying is really true. Get busy
Stop when you notice that you are looking for him
Think about why he is bad throughly
If you hold yourself for a month you will do anything to not go back to the same cycle
You will only think about the time that was lost when the feeling is over so get out as soon as possible and it is never too late you are going to live a very long life
It will get better if you seek theraphy and work on yourself.
You deserve the love you give to others
And i also promise you don’t ever think about how things could get worse from there. Because it could. So get out of that house.
You can do this 💖
@goldenocean5284
Hi:
Thanks for the tips and I do get out and spend time with people. I normally don't think seeking him out between either of these two cons. It's only right before both of them that I think about him.
However, he had a history of jerking me around by building my hopes up by flirting with me whenever he wants something. Then when he didn't need something, the guy would act like he was really mad at me.
@Summershy
sry, ignore that, anyways, If I were you, I'd ask myself 10 reasons on why I should suffer for him, and if I caught myself with no reasons, I'd remind myself of all the good things I contributed to our relationship to stop guilt from creeping up on me....
@Summershy
Hello, thank for sharing this experience with us today. From what you are describing here, it sounds like all he really wants is your attention. He is not interested in nothing more. He wants you to chase after him. That is the game he is playing with you. Don't take it personally, he is probably doing this to other people too.
@Kharolful
Yes I think so too. Keep in mind, I stopped talking to him nearly 9 years ago. However, a part of me still misses him even though he is not good for me.
Anyway, he would play games with me and then go behind my back and complain about me chasing him and how he did not like me. He would also go around telling them that I am a "Spazz'
@SummHi, my name is Udo!
I know how painful it is when someone you care about ignores you and doesn't appreciate you. But remember, you deserve someone who will be there for you and respect you. Letting go doesn't mean forgetting, it means freeing yourself for something better. Be strong, everything will work out!ershy
@patientDay2268
I really first of all thank you for your support. After coming here and having a chance to think and talk things through, I have come accept that he is narcissistic and abused me psychologically. I no longer have the desire to seek him out while detaching myself. Rather, I am looking forward to attending the convention with some other friends who do appreciate me.
Now if we do run into each other and he wants to pull one of his stunts, I am currently working on setting boundaries with him.
