Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-In: February 3rd, 2020
Good Morning To Our Trauma Community!
Hello everyone! I hope you are having a wonderful day so far. Please feel free to answer the following:
1. How are you feeling emotionally today?
2. Is there anything bothering or upsetting you?
3. What takes up too much of your time?
4. What one thing do you really want but can't afford yet?
Stay Beautiful!
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1. How are you feeling emotionally today?
Ehhhh. Not greatest, but it could be worse
2. Is there anything bothering or upsetting you?
Not at the moment
3. What takes up too much of your time?
Worrying
4. What one thing do you really want but can't afford yet?
A Service dog! ( It's more like a need than a want)
@AlexFox800 Hi there. I'm sorry to hear that you aren't the greatest but I do like your attitude when you say things could be worse! You are looking on the bright side! That is good that nothing is bothering or upsetting you and I hope it stays that way. Worrying also take up too much of my time and that is something I am currently trying to work on. A service dog would be a wonderful thing to have, espcially since you need one so I hope you can get one soon. Thank you for sharing this with me and checking in. Have a beautiful night.
1) Betrayed
2) Read below
3) just trying to get better
4) What I want is not material.I am perusing it.
I have such little material things due to the fire. The biggest loss was my sense of safety , trust, community. I lost them again this weekend. As I sit here I am trying to decide what to say in here. It is so long. ok sum it up. I am the youngest of 7, well 5 now. 11 years ago my extremely close family had a go of it. We unexpectedly lost our mother, father, sister, brother and,sister in law. All within a time span of 13 months. We (if possible) bonded more. I have been with my partner for 14 years.
I wont go into the partner because I think we are good. But we have never lied to another and he did in a way that sucked.
Since the Fire ( one of my sister also was in ) they have been and always will be my rock. I am spoiled to have so many to call upon but due to 2 of us, well I try not to impose to much. Since I can recall we have a family chat in messenger. All 5 of us chit chat at least twice a week. For reasons too long, I was getting such minimal details of how they were. Long story short the 4 of them on Jan 3rd made a thread without me. It is extremely rare we chat alone with one another , if we do it is usually by phone. I knew this in my gut on Jan3rd but Sunday I knew I had to confront it.
I knew Sunday because 2 brothers are KC fans. Minimal chit chat and then ofcourse it happened. They wrote in the wrong chat. Nothing bad , nothing at all really just football talk. That is what I have missed so much this month. Just watching the normal chit chat of my family.I feel betrayed and have no idea what is going on. I called my brother I am closest too. He denied it. I let him deny it. So now I have to expend energy on this. ( Trust me I have documentation it is going on)
I predict this does not fit BETRAYAL too many. It is so out of character,so weird, so, the fact that we are so close, somethings off. I don't drink as for drugs I smoke weed. So I would remember if anything went down. To lose trust is such a mind f*ck. First hubby than family, all in 24 hours. I have to go write them.....
Gotta go...................ugh ugh ugh It will be better after I get some sleep
@95969 Hi there friend. I'm sorry to hear about the tough time you are going through and it feels horrible to be betrayed so that really sucks that happened to you. I think that is great that what you want is not material and that shows great courage on your part to pursue it. I am truly sorry for the loss you've experienced with your family members and also for the fire. That has to be so hard to go through. It's great that you and your partner are good. It definitely helps when things are good with the people we love! I hope the issue with your family gets resolved soon and you find the peace of mind you need. Thank you for sharing this with me and checking in. Have a beautiful night.
@PeppermintStar0912
I have to say, you are always so kind and full of insight. I read your replies and you seem to calm me and others with such ease. No idea how you do it and do it with compassion and grace. I hope you know how much you are appreciated!!
@95969 Oh my gosh my friend, thank you for such beautiful words! You brought tears to my eyes... in a good way! I hope you are doing well today!
1. Emotionally today, I'm feeling low-level anxious & mostly calm.
2. I had one of the worst nights of sleep that I've had in a while last night. I couldn't fall asleep for ages, and then when I did I had really terrifying nightmares. I woke up at 2 in the morning (I had work today, mind you, so I had to wake up at 6:30am) and I couldn't fall back asleep until around 4am, again with fitful rest and nightmares. I had a happy weekend and was very cozy in bed-- I even fell asleep using my usual sleep-aid of ASMR, but for some reason I just had a really awful time. Subsequently, I'm quite low-energy today. I'm tired physically, but also tired emotionally. I usually don't sleep amazing-- I have a lot of nightmares as it is, but I'm used to them (and they're not typically accompanied by insomnia). I tried to assess what could have brought this on and yes, I do have a lot of responsibilities on my plate, but they're all easily manageable and I wasn't feeling particularly bad about them... I've been out of therapy for too long (I'm having trouble securing health insurance) so I know that's a factor, but I've been doing okay. I don't know. I guess some nights are just bad nights.
3. I find that my fatigue takes too much of my time. I'm often too tired to accomplish things I need to accomplish. I'm getting much better at pushing through when I feel too tired, but I'd still like to have half the energy I notice others have.
4. I can't yet afford a savings account, but I really want one. I need a minimum deposit of $200, but I've only just gotten a job that pays more than minimum wage. I'm doing my best to save up (I'm getting there!) but I'd just like to be worry-free about that. I'd also like to be able to afford car expenses, like a smogging, new tires, a tune-up, a brake light repaired... I'll get there!
Thanks for this check-in 
This community always keeps me together.
@betterchoices Hi there. I'm glad to hear that you are feeling mostly calm, that is surely something to celebrate. I'm really sorry about the horrible night's sleep you had. That is so rough to not be able to sleep and then when you finally do fall asleep, you have nightmares- That really sucks you have to go through that! I have really bad nights of sleep too and I think you are right when you say that some nights are good and some are just bad. I lack energy to get things done too and I also think it would be nice to have the energy that my friends and family have. A savings account is such a good idea and I wish you the best of luck in getting one- You can do it! Keep your positive attitude and you will succeed. You are so welcome for the check-in, it is my pleasure to do them! Thank you for sharing this with me and have a beautiful night.
1. I feel ok
2. Something bothering me is being in a large crowd of college seniors, realizing (as if I need reminding) that I don't have a single friend. Even the people in my class pretend I don't exist.
3. Something I spend too much time on is stressing over homework instead of actually doing it. Has to be "perfect" and if it isn't I just give up.
4. Something I want but can't afford... idk. Guess I want non-material things. Endless emotional strength, physical strength, friends... the ability to fly.
@Lexloveslife Hi there. I'm really sorry for what is bothering you and that is wrong that the people in your class pretend you don't exist because you do exist. There was a time in my life that people would pretend that I didn't exist and it made feel really alone. I'm glad you are here and a part of our community! I hope you feel like you have support with us. I like the non-material things you'd like, especially endless emotional strength. I would like that as well! Thank you for sharing this with me and checking in. Have a beautiful night.
@Lexloveslife Friends will come if you keep the door open-- that's something I had to learn! I used to be just like that, feeling completely isolated & alienated from my peers... A lot of the time, though, I realized that I wasn't making progress making friends because in my head, I would get anxious about it. "If I do get a friend, they won't stay for long." "If I do get a friend, they won't like me after a while." "If I do get a friend, it'd be a lot of work to maintain." "No one wants to be friends with someone like me." I wasn't keeping my metaphorical door open, I had it closed-- and was merely looking out a window! As soon as I started to entertain the idea that friends & me might mix after all, I found myself not being afraid to laugh at people's jokes, or to compliment someone when I liked their outfit. These tiny interactions would snowball into friendships, and now I've got lots of friends! This may not be your case, but it never hurts to share a personal experience if it ends up helping! Good luck, and don't forget that there's plenty of friends around you in 7cups. 
@betterchoices Beautiful words my friend
@betterchoices
Hi. I appreciate the advice but I've been down this road (both making/losing friends in real life and 7cups) before. Based on my experiences, I find that I don't want friends but don't want to feel lonely either. Due to my history of relationships, it's actually a lot safer for me mental health-wise and others if I don't have friends. This isn't to put myself down, it's just the truth. This said, I was feeling very lonely the day I wrote that. Now I'm fine and realize I'm quite content alone and it doesn't have to be loneliness. Actually prefer it, having grown up an only child. "Isolation" with the negative connotation as everyone calls it is what I call peace and self care. I think all relationships are superficial anyway. But again, thanks. The advice is nice and may help others here.
@PeppermintStar0912
1. How are you feeling emotionally today? pretty good
2. Is there anything bothering or upsetting you? nope
3. What takes up too much of your time? work
4. What one thing do you really want but can't afford yet? online therapy
@Mellietronx Hi there friend! That is so wonderful to hear that you are doing pretty good and that there is nothing bothering or upsetting you! It's really nice to see when people are doing well- It makes me smile! Work takes up too much of my time too but we have to get it done don't we?! Oh my gosh- I saved up for so long and I ended up giving up some stuff but I wanted the same things as you- Online therapy. After a while I finally got it. You will get it too just don't give up! Thank you for checking in with me and have a beautiful night.
no idea how I'm doing. Everything is fine. I faked it all day. Video's for mental health the "fake it till ya make it theory" . Ok , went better than I thought. I need a better word than resigned. I feel apathy. What is concoction of resignation & apathy. No idea. I fixate on being ok too much. It is a race to healthy. I'm kicking back at the water stand. Content.....nope.
In the midst of info gathering I found no word. I like the way one put it.
Are you ignorant? Are you apathetic?
Are you ambivalent?
I don't know. I don't care. Either way is fine by me.
@95969 Thank you for sharing this with us!
@95969 Hi there friend. I hope you are doing better today!
@PeppermintStar0912
1. How are you feeling emotionally today?
Im feeling pretty down, Ive been crying for a good chunk of the day, and I cant escape the thoughts and memories
2. Is there anything bothering or upsetting you?
The memories ive had and what things used to be like
3. What takes up too much of your time?
Something that takes too much of my time is thinking of these things and worrying about something that wont happen
4. What one thing do you really want but can't afford yet?
One thing I really want but cant afford is trying to get back into life and try and find people that really make me happy and care about me
@UnknownUnexplained Hi there. I'm really sorry for how you are feeling and that you've been crying for most of the day. When I can't escape thoughts or memories, it usually makes me cry too so I hope you feel better soon. I can understand why remembering what things used to be like would bother you. Thinking seems to take too much of my time too. I get so stuck in my head. What kinds of things do you do for self-care when things get really tough for you? I think it's great that you really want to get back into your life and find others that really care for you and I hope you can find that soon. Thank you for checking in with me. Have a beautiful night.
@PeppermintStar0912 Thank you! You too! I usually just log onto 7 Cups and practice my growth, or just reach out to someone. Sometimes when im alone, I just remind myself that I am better than these thoughts and it will all pass. it usually brings me peace of mind. i Hope things feel better for you too!