Traumatic Experiences Community Daily CheckIn - Thursday 15 of June 2017
Hi everyone
We all know that life is rough. Our days are long and stressful. We are burdened down with abuse, neglect, just plain pain in our days and life. All that is roaming in our heads and hearts.....what about gratitude? Where does that fit in your days? Where does that fit into our healing and really "moving on"? What is gratitude?
The quality of being thankful, readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.
What are you thankful for?
What are some things you can be more thankful for?
Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow
Please share with us on some things you are thankful for. It can be a poem, a drawing, just some words-anything. Be creative- come on-I cant wait
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@RumpleSteeleSkin. I am thankful for family and waking up every morning, I sometimes forget, that tomorrow is always a gift!
@jr50
Jr yes-being thankful for opening your eyes yet another day is so priceless. WOW Im so like encouraged and looking around me more with a grateful heart at the small things. Thank you so much for sharing this
@RumpleSteeleSkin. I love all Winnie the pooh characters, thanks!
@jr50
Ill make sure I post more of them just for you
@RumpleSteeleSkin. Thank you much!
@RumpleSteeleSkin
Weel here pass midnight, I am grateful for feeling better,,, pity it gets lower soon but actualy have more hope... I just want to feel secure and good... wish could be happy.
@conscientiousPineapple1782
That is a big thing to be thankful for. Feeling better doesn't come easily for many. I'm glad you see that and thankful. I'm here for you if you need some support or just someone to listen to you.
I don't have anywhere else to put this so I'll put it here. I wish someone could help me or at least commiserate with me.
Living with someone that makes life unmanageable when their drinking is anxiety-causing and emotionally painful.
My spouse made this evening miserable and I have hidden the keys.
I'm grateful he passes out, hope he doesn't wake. Got the dishes done, pets fed, etc.
So tired of this way of living. So hard to make progress when every step I take either I mess up or someone else does.
I know it's always drama with me and it is something I should look at. I do feel anxious. I do feel like there's a lot of drama.
I would say I need things to slow down so that I can put two and two together. But I'm sure I'd just find some more drama and make myself the put upon martyr/hero/victim selflessly scrambling behind the scenes conducting damage control. (Yeah, Right)
I am grateful for 7 cups tho, I think.
@themainjane Me as well, if I can add to your comment.
@AmalieAnne
Yes, you may. 🙂
@RumpleSteeleSkin difficult question. grateful for this site without which distraction life would be even more unbearable.
I want to say grateful i survived two months ago but really am not right now. not sure if that will change.
Still grateful for neverending patience of hubby whose strength never fails despite his own immense grief. He said he sat in the car and cried on the way home yesterday . Im sorry i am not stronger for him. Even more ashamed of the sh and failure to cope.
Grateful for family who try and keep us busy. Tho not looking forward to first family wedding next week without my grandparents. I want to not go because one cousin just had a baby and another is due the week i was. I will just upset them by being there but have to do it for my dad. He will be missing his parents and it will be hard for him too.
Im tired of people saying im strong. If i was i wouldnt be thinking about not being around- Tho i wouldnt ever carry them out it scares me that it would be final and of what i have access to. i just dont want to lose control or the ability to make rational decisions. I dont know when that changes because 16 years ago i thought i was rational until the end.
I am grateful that everyone in the trauma community has a voice and is heard.
@inventiveOrange1
so many hugs to you. ❤
@inventiveOrange1
Do you speak with your counselor before the wedding? Maybe your counselor might have some advice in regards?
I know it would be very difficult for me - for anyone - to be in the position you are.
I think you are doing a great job of opening up.
@themainjane hugs. I open up in here because its anonymous and noone could stop me working at the hosp.
Im not sure im seeing therapist anymore. I lied to her this week about how at risk i was and im afraid without that trust i cant go back.
I guess it doesnt really matter. Im still here.
@inventiveOrange1
You can go back to her. Do you think this is her first rodeo? ;)
Also, and this is delicate, but sometimes it's helpful to look at the good, the bad and the ugly:
Please remind yourself of the consequences if you were to make a rash decision. And then do whatever it takes to keep yourself from making such a decision. Even if it means talking about it. To anyone.
Be safe.
@themainjane just being careful. Dont want to lose my freedom again. Took a long time to regain independence and trust and to work.
And i know ethically therapist would have to report any issues with my fitness to practice since work with medication and patients.
Practically we need my job. It pays for our mortgage and i cant cope with losing our house too.
Im not in crisis. i hope i am still rational enough to make that understood.
Thanks for your kindness and understanding
@inventiveOrange1
No problem. And I understand the dilemma. Best to talk it out here.
It wasn't too long ago I was overcome with urges to do rash things. Being able to talk it out here took away some of that aloneness and urge. We do what we gotta do, right?
@themainjane thank you. Yes not being able to tell even hubby is difficult. Dont want to worry anyone.
It is hard to ignore sometimes and im sure many others have these thoughts too. Cautious of what i say and aware it is trigerring so am sorry.
Sh isnt a great coping strategy either but better than the alternative right now I guess.
@inventiveOrange1
Where you work and family- even though you love them - contribute to your reactive state?
I know where I live, this house, this town and family contribute to mine - even though I love them.
Working on making peace within myself.
@themainjane yes work is very triggering and stressful. Barely able to walk through emergency department or maternity since i was admitted here. I havent been able to cover ICU yet but will be asked soon im sure.
I cant afford to be off sick again since being off already for bereaevement and barely worked since last oct because of unpaid leave with the ivf, grandparents deaths and morning sickness/immunosuppressive infusions.
Home is ok though have to be ok when see parents and my twin brother and his own twins. Its hard to see them and not see our own babies.
Im glad you are finding some peace despite the triggers you have at home. I hope it continues for you.
@inventiveOrange1
Me too. And please take full advantage of this forum, myself and of those who work in the medical field here that can understand that part.
I'm sorry for the constant triggers. Thank you for sharing about walking through the very place that is so hard for you. Don't carry that burden alone, okay?
@themainjane thank you. Really trying not to isolate though I feel like the burden since i cant be very positive right now.
I feel bad for everyone on here and wish i had more to offer. I hope everyone finds their peace.
@inventiveOrange1
You've offered a lot!
I can't tell you how seeing you talk about your struggles makes me think that maybe it is okay to talk about mine. :)
