Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Checkin - Monday 10th July 2017

Morning everyone Well I am sitting here with my coffee, trying to wake up and pondering what to write for todays checkin. I have been thinking a lot about self-criticism, a concept that I know many of you know well!!! Self-criticism can cause so much harm. We often don't need anyone external to put us down, because many of us already do this to ourselves. We blame ourselves for what we have gone through, for the actions of others, for how we feel, for what we don't do, for not being good enough, for being who we are and so on.

Self-criticism often leaves us feeling worse about ourselves, where we put ourselves down so much, we may even question what the point is of trying to do things differently, because we believe we are not good enough, or will fail or are not good enough just because of the person we believe we are etc.

But today's checkin will be about self-criticism and using this as a motivator or a force for change. Are there any personal traits that you continually criticise yourself for having eg perhaps you feel your overweight, lazy, impulsive, judgmental, impatient etc. Many of us can be hard on ourselves perhaps because we think this will help us to change, but the reality is, it can actually make us feel worse about ourselves. We are also continually hard on ourselves, because for many of us, we grew up in households or environments where we were put down, criticised and condemned for any little thing we did and for who we were. And so for some of us, we have carried on being the self critical voice, we got used to hearing when we were younger.

How often do you stop to consider the emotional pain, that being self critical causes? How do you feel emotionally when you are self critical? How would it feel to begin giving yourself compassion for the fact you are judging yourselves so harshly?

Todays challenge for you Instead of beating yourselves up, try and think of kinder and more caring ways to motivate yourselves to make changes you wish to see happening in your lives? What language would a wise and nurturing friend, parent, teacher, or mentor use to gently point out how your self critical behaviour is unproductive, while at the same time encouraging you to do something different. What is the most supportive message you can think of thats in line with your underlying wish to be safe, healthy and happy?

Every time you catch yourself being judgmental about your unwanted trait in the future, try and notice the pain of your self-judgment and give yourself compassion. Then try to reframe your inner dialogue so that it is more encouraging and supportive. Remember that if you really want to motivate yourself, love is more powerful than fear. Are you up for challenging your self critical voice?

This space is yours to share whats happening in your world, in you day, whether good, bad or inbetween. Its a safe and supportive space to share whats on your mind, share any achievements, positive things happening for you, any troubles you may feel today. Healing from Trauma is hard work, so be gentle with yourselves and show some kindness to you!!!

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