Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Checkin - Monday 3rd July 2017
Good morning everyone :) I hope this day brings you some comfort, peace and happiness 
Healing from Traumatic Experiences can be really hard, and in our moments where we feel we are going backwards, or things are not going quite to plan, we can often end up beating ourselves up for what we feel we are not doing, for our moments of perceived failure or weakness. We can forget all the things that we are doing, and all the times when we have pushed on regardless of vulnerable we may feel.
We may stumble and fall but shall rise again; it should be enough if we did not run away from the battle. Mahatma Gandhi
How can you honour yourselves for fighting on, for getting up again after each stumble or fall? How can you remember all those times when despite what obstacles were put in your way, you found the strength within you to keep being the warrior that you are, or getting up again and moving forward? How can you be kinder to yourselves in the battle of overcoming the traumatic experiences you have gone through? How can you show yourselves some patience, some kindness and self love?
This space is yours, is safe to share with others, whether your having a bad day, good day or inbetween day. Healing is tough work, be proud of what you are achieving for yourself, Show kindness to yourselves and reach out for support when you need it.
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How can you honour yourselves for fighting on, for getting up again after each stumble or fall? How can you remember all those times when despite what obstacles were put in your way, you found the strength within you to keep being the warrior that you are, or getting up again and moving forward? How can you be kinder to yourselves in the battle of overcoming the traumatic experiences you have gone through? How can you show yourselves some patience, some kindness and self love?
This is oddly specific and appropriate today. So I'm going to answer to one specific situation that I'm not going to explain.
I can choose to not hate myself for a decision made when I really had none at all. I can, instead, choose to be grateful that I'm still here, and still fighting this stupid battle I never asked to be a part of. I'm not saying it's as simple as saying "I choose not to hate myself so I magically have nothing but pleasant thoughts about me now". It's just not that easy. But I can try to change how I see certain things, and trying is the best I can do.
@BeeLeigh hey Bee thanks for a great response and don't ever feel you have to explain things your not ready to explain or which you don't wish to share. You only share what you feel comfy with
I hope you can choose not to hate yourself for a decision you made when you felt you had none. Sometimes people can also be put into no win situations, or situations where both choices are not ones they wish for but have no choice but to make one. You always do the best you can in a given situation, and sometimes decisions we make may not be what we want or would choose but sometimes we do have to make decisions as you describe. And thats okay. At that given moment you did what was necessary or required. And you should not hate yourself for that.
You are still here, and you are fighting a battle that was created by others actions. You didnt choose to be part of this battle but are doing what you can to come out the other side of it. It take courage and guts to stick at this. And your right, just because you say you choose not to hate yourself, doesnt mean it will come easily, but the fact your trying to acknowledge and accept that fact is a huge thing in itself. You are in essence trying your very best to stop hating you. To stop beating yourself up. Thats such a brave and courageous thing to say and to try and achieve. So good on you!!!
Your best will always be good enough, the fact your trying and fighting on will always be good enough. You decided not to quit and give in
@BeeLeigh I can choose to not hate myself for a decision made when I really had none at all. I can, instead, choose to be grateful that I'm still here, and still fighting this stupid battle I never asked to be a part of. I'm not saying it's as simple as saying "I choose not to hate myself so I magically have nothing but pleasant thoughts about me now". It's just not that easy. But I can try to change how I see certain things, and trying is the best I can do.
Without going into specifics either, I will just say that this goes for me as well. And that I am grateful to you, Bee, for summing things up so perfectly (and also that I admire you for always doing your best).
@melliotm Ditto for you too Mellio. 
That was a lovely response to Bee's post and Im glad too that you like Bee are trying your very best and to try and not hate yourself for making decisions/choices that you make, and for recognising the efforts of fighting on, trying your very best, to win this battle for yourself
@dancingRainbow45 Thanks Rain :)
@BeeLeigh
Love your response Bee! Unfortunately we can never rewind the past to make adjustments but, but we can sure change the way we treat ourselves moving forward. You're amazing, courageous and inspirational. Totally deserving of self love and positive self talk. 
Thank you for being here and sharing.
Mary
Saw this on my feed this morning and felt it to be apt:
@melliotm That is very apt.
@melliotm
Totally love this! Thank you so much for sharing.
@dancingRainbow45
How can you honour yourselves for fighting on, for getting up again after each stumble or fall? How can you remember all those times when despite what obstacles were put in your way, you found the strength within you to keep being the warrior that you are, or getting up again and moving forward?
Taking time to really think about or even write down my accompllishments and personality strengths. Writing them down, I could re-read them.
How can you be kinder to yourselves in the battle of overcoming the traumatic experiences you have gone through? How can you show yourselves some patience, some kindness and self love?
Counter the self critic and insert the accomplishments/positive characteristics consistently.
Thanks Rain!
@MKJart LOL you post made me think oh my gosh what have I said!!!! I knew my words today were not as freeflowing as I would like them to be, but I thought oh my what have I said wrong LOL
Then I realised you were repeating my questions to you!!! 
All I saw initially was How could you!!! LOL
Great response though, well done you!!! It can be hard sometimes to remember our accomplishments and I think writing them down, keep a list of them is actually really useful especially in those days when things are not feeling so good. Because by writing them down, even on your worst day, those accomplishments still exist, they still happened and getting the list out to remind yourselves can be really helpful.
Sometimes we are so caught up with what we want to do, what we perhaps feel we are not doing, we dont take the time to really see how far and how much has already been achieved, no matter whether a big step forward or a small one, they all count. thanks MK
@dancingRainbow45
LOL
It's for my memory. When the post to thread box comes up, I can't see the questions anymore.
Mary
@MKJart No worries on that lol I admit lately I have copied and pasted someones response into my box where I am responding, so I too can remember whats been said, rather than let myself get confused or forgetful LOL
@dancingRainbow45 I just got broken up with yesterday out of the blue. I don't know how I'm supposed to move on
@rationalWillow8882 Hey willow, sorry to hear you got broken up with. I take this to be a partner? Its all new for you right now and it may take a little time to adjust to this news. How do you feel about being broken up with? And welcome to the trauma check ins.
@dancingRainbow45 We were dating for two years and it was so sudden. I'm devastated.
@rationalWillow8882 that must feel really tough for you Willow. Two years is a long time to go out with someone. Is this relationship able to be salvaged at all? Was the relationship beginning to have difficulties, or was this something so sudden and unexpected? Have you been able to share with anyone what has happened?
@dancingRainbow45 He told me he doesn't see the relationship going anywhere so I don't think we'll be able to reconcile. He told me he didn't want to try so I have to get over it. It was really unexpected but I'm sure if I look back I could probably see some warning signs. I just couldn't see them when I was in the relationship.
I'm very lucky to have good friends and family to help me out. I just need outside help to keep things in perspective and heal without dwelling on it
@rationalWillow8882 Im glad too that you have good friends to whom you can turn to for support. I saw after you posted this that the two of you are now going to try and work it out. How do you feel about this? Is this something you want and given what has happened, with your partner saying they felt the relationship wasnt going anywhere, what do you think about what was said? Do you feel the two of you can work this out and come out the otherside?
@rationalWillow8882
Ouch. That sounds hard and when it's so unexpected it can really mess with your head. How are you doing?
@MKJart he ended up wanting to work things out and we talked but I am still hurt and in shock. It still feels like I was dumped if that makes any sense.
@rationalWillow8882
That's understandable to feel that way. it messes with safety `and security in the relationship. Ho do you feel about working things out?
@MKJart I feel like it's worth doing, but I just can't picture a clear path in my head. It's going to take a lot of work
I finally did the Listener training and am ready to go. I've had a couple good ones where I was able to assist the person in getting in touch with that self intelligence that we all have to guide to what is right for us individually. That was really satisfying and I find myself asking questions and or saying things that I need to hear too. I also had one person tell me to f myself and I was a horrible person because I asked him if he was seeing a therapist to help him- he was psychotically associating me with an ex that had dumped him. Gotta admit- it was scary. I reported and blocked him though, probably a troll. Another person got mad at me for not sharing my personal information with him. I have a feeling a couple weird ones come up every once and a while.
We have dreary weather again today. One of my dogs has me hostage in bed because he's afraid of thunder. My body hurts when the weather is blah like this too. Yeah!!!! Blanket fort day!!! My dog, pinto, concurs. I'm reading a good mystery. This mornng I visited with a friend, which was awesome and I've been working on a sculpture.. always fun. Now, I'm in unplug mode... helps when your dog would suffer if you didn't just stay in bed with him. LOL!
@MKJart Aw wow thats so amazing, Mary. Congratulations -- I know that you will make a real difference for a lot of people as a listener on here. You bring so much empathy and a wealth of lived experience to the table. 7cups is truly fortunate to have you volunteering your time to help others. 💟
@melliotm
Thanks mellio.
edited by dancingRainbow45 on 04/07/2017. We are not permitted to share listener and member usernames publically in the forums. This is to protect your identity as a member when you are also a listener.
@MKJart Congrats MK <3
So. Many. Fireworks! 😣🙉
I'm at the dentist right now and I'm like, actually shaking. 🙊
@BeeLeigh
See? I can't even find the right Monday to post in! 🤦🏼♀️
@BeeLeigh Nope not todays Monday to post in but at least its been seen. Your at the dentist now and shaking. Have you got a good dentist who you can explain to them how your feeling, to see if there is a way they can reassure you. Have you taken with you a list of what you can cope with and what your not ready to face yet? Have you seen this dentist before? Speak to the dentist if you can, you dont have to go into any detail about any fears or worries you have and see if they can spend some time chatting with you, explaining what they need to do, what you will allow to happen, to practise the stop signal if it all gets too much for you.