Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Saturday 23th of February, 2019
Happy Saturday every-amazing-one! I am really looking forward to hearing from you . 
How are you doing today? :)
How has this week been for you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it? :)
I have to admit that I have arrived a bit unprepared today. I am just kind of drained, yesterday evening was kind of a bad time for me soooo...my mind is a bit blank.
BUT, I am still just happy to spend some time with you and this just reminded me of something really important that I do often overlook and still can be kind of hard for me: self-care! :)
Self-care is really important but can be really hard to find the time or motivation for but I want you all to know that you do absolutely deserve to have some time for yourself and you do deserve to do some nice things for yourself because you are just such an amazing and strong warriors here. I mean, I am really proud of you all!
So, for self-care: what is your favourite self-care activity? Could you maybe do it right now or sometimes in the near future? :)
Of course, as always, all the questions are optional and if you would just like to say hi and or just sit with us here for a bit you are always welcome as well. There is no pressure on you at all, just having you here with us is awesome on it's own as well.
Also, Happy belated Birthday to the amazing @Avaray :)
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@redmark - Good morning. I just moved last week. I've been working long hours while cleaning and packing and unpacking for weeks. Tiresome. Yesterday, my body reminded me to take a break. I was so exhausted I couldn't focus, think, and every movement was an ordeal. I practiced self-care by taking a nap for my work break. It was delicious. I'm still practicing self-care now by allowing myself to do very little today. I can't be a superhero to myself if I'm exhausted. Breaks are good and okay. I'm really excited about my new place and the new memories I'll make there, and generally feel in good spirits lately. (:
( Happy belated birthday @Avaray !)
Hey there @wontwakewontsleep *offering safe hugs*
It is really awesome to see you around here!
Oww...moving to a new place sounds exciting - and a bit scary - but I know it can be really exhausting as well to set up your new place so I am glad to hear that you have got yourself a break throughout the whole process :)
A nap sounds really good right now actually :P - I am glad to hear that you have been able to catch up with a bit of sleep in your break at work and also I think it is really important that you allow yourself to just relax and recharge a little bit before you do really jump into the new place you do have now :)
I mean, it sure sounds exciting, but you cannot really pour from an empty cup so give yourself some time as well ^-^
Stay awesome!
@redmark - Thank you! <3
@redmark just going to sit with yous for a little while.
self care wise I like to go for long walks to clear my head a little. Went to the coast the other day and walked for about 8 miles in the rain
Hey there @crimsonLime6525 *offering safe hugs*
It is always really nice to have you here with us!
Oh, I like long walks as well. For me it is usually the cold weather that helps even more to clear my mind while walking as well but rain can be nice as well, although I hope you have taken good care of yourself and made sure to not get soaked in the rain :)
Stay strong and awesome!
Hi I've had a really rough week. My partner of almost a year asked for a break because he said he can't fully love me unless I was an able bodied person who could do physical activities with him. Also he thinks I can't love him if I get triggered by him. Yelling is one of my triggers and he raised his voice at me but only because he was playing a stressful video game and that stress came off in his reply. He also said here feels like he can't break up with me because he doesn't want to be responsible for my suicide. This all came out of the blue after months of him telling me he wants to help me and asking me to let him help with my physical and mental issues. Idk what to do and thought you all might understand
@Mashedpotato364
That sounds really hard. Im sorry youre going through that.
I havent had that exact same experience, but I did have some friends who told me over and over again how much they were going to be there for me and they were for a while. I start feeling safe and opening up and everything started coming out and I really depended on them. And then they slowly started drawing away. Now in all reality, my situation probably had more to do with issues they were dealing with and schedule changes and their own stress level. But it was still hard.
I guess my point here to say I understand the feeling of being told over and over again that someones going to be there and then suddenly it feels like theyre not. I found that really hurt and I still struggle with it sometimes. I just wanted to let you know that youre not all alone in facing that situation. Its tough to go through. Sending safe hugs if youd like.
@pioneeringBanana1598 Thank you for understanding how hard it is to struggle to let people in and trust them, only to be abandoned. It makes me feel less alone. I'm sorry though that you have been in a similar situation.
@Mashedpotato364
Im glad it made you feel less alone. Me too a little bit. Thats one of the things I appreciate about the trauma community on 7 Cups. Sometimes I used to feel like no one could understand what I really meant when I tried to explain how I felt to my friends or family. Its nice to be in a place where you feel understood and you dont have to be all alone with your struggles.
@pioneeringBanana1598 I agree. Most people in my life have a very limited understanding. This place has been a life saver
@Mashedpotato364
Its weird when you realize what youve been running from your whole life is in your own mind. I always thought I was trying to outrun my depression by staying really busy and/or stressed. And I was, to a degree, but I think I was also trying to out run the memories that were hidden in my mind or less. Its so strange. Sometimes its hard to believe that that was real or that this is real. I imagine that is the PTSD. But it all gets so confusing in my head sometimes.
@pioneeringBanana1598 Oh whoa yeah I experienced something similar. Always running and never actually dealing and making myself believe I was ok and could handle things. Then it all caught up. I've been afraid of my own brain for a while now and feel like I don't really understand it or know how to ease it's pain.
@Mashedpotato364
I hear you on that. Ive been there before. When I finally started to stop running, it was like being punched in the face and knocked over by a tidal wave of pain in horribleness. The pain was excruciating and it seemed unbearable for months if not a couple of years. Im not sure cant remember all of it very well. On the plus side though, in the last few months Ive finally started to feel better. I actually feel like a human being again sometimes. So it is possible to get there! Im rooting for you.
Hey there @Mashedpotato364 *offering safe hugs*
We are really glad to have you here with us!
I am sorry, it sounds really hard.
I think it can be hard for him as well as I feel like a lot of people do not exactly understand how deep some scars can run and they just get frustrated when they cannot "fix" them. I suppose it kind of has to do with the current cultural discussion on these topics but it is not exactly important right now anyway. I mean, what is important tho is that could you two maybe talk this through? - I mean, I feel like part of his frustration may be coming from that he feels like he is not able to help you not realizing that just by being there he helps you - well, if he does, you are the only one who knows that. I know that just being there is actually really often overlooked by people who are trying to help.
Also, maybe ask him as well if there is anything that frustrates him and/or curious about this situation, about you and try to just talk through that can be useful.
Although, it is hard, I know that, and it is completely okay to take your time with it and I think fair to expect your partner as well to put some initiative as well into this, these were just some ideas. Either way tho, I want you to know that you are not alone with this and we all are here for you anytime :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark Thank you for your reply. You are right he gets frustrated that he can't "fix" me or some issues. I tried talking to him and he kept coming up with excuses on why things aren't going to work out like that he's starting school soon and won't have time for me even though he wants to adventure with some one it just makes me feel like I am never going to be good enough
Self-care is really hard for me. But I like playing video games, talking to my partner, sleeping, and listening to guided meditations. I'm currently just trying to stay awake to reset my sleep schedule (or trying to, at least)
Hey there @Zeraphim *offering safe hugs*
It is really nice to hear from you around here!
Ohh...I know it is hard sometimes when you need to reset your sleep schedule like that but I have done it many times as well and, actually it works so I hope you will be able to get back your sleep schedule on track :)
Also, I know that self-care can be hard but all those things you have listed sound like a really nice way to take care of yourself :)
Stay awesome!
Hi Red. Always good to hear from you.
Im not sure how Im doing today. Its a bit confusing. But I felt really tired and I have been able to get some rest so that is good. Even my mind has kind of let me rest, which is unusual for the last few years.
I do think that Im tired of hating myself. But its like I dont know how to stop sometimes. Thats all I can remember thinking about myself for so long. I want to change and I dont want to be angry at myself anymore I dont think. But for some reason that sounds scary. And Im not entirely sure how to do it. Do I sound crazy right now? I dont think so but everything is kind of swirling around my head and nothing seems to make a lot of sense right now. I dont really know whats going on with me.
Hey there @pioneeringBanana1598 *offering safe hugs*
It is always really awesome to hear from you as well!
I am glad to hear that you have been able to get some rest. I mean, I do know that you are going through a really though time now and you have definitely deserved a bit of a break to recharge :)
You don't sound crazy at all.
If hating yourself is what you have been told for so long it can really get engraved into your brain and it can really take a long time to even start to question those thoughts but it is a really important and big thing that you do question it like that and you want to get rid of them. Of course, at this time it may even just make things harder as you have to battle yourself and your thoughts but challenging it is a really important step and slowly changing your thinking and mindset.
However, it really is slow, but I want you to know that it is okay to be confused and the way you feel is always okay but you do definitely deserve all the love, care, and kindness coming your way. You are really a brave and strong warrior and just an amazing, kind, and caring person and I am really glad that I have got to know you here and I want you to know that you are not alone in this, we are all here for you and if there is anything we may be able to with we are always here for you :)
Together we can do this, we can get through this. I do believe in it anyways and I do definitely believe in you. ^-^
Stay awesome!
@redmark
Hi, im new to this, my day and week are bad because i have a problem and its this -
im a uni student and a few weekends ago i went home for a visit because my fam had been out of the country, i didn't know my step dad was going to be there, this has only started recently whenever he sees me he sexually assaults me, im a idiot for lying and taking it but now i got back to uni im depressed and cant get out of bed or do anything im so scared he will get me pregnant.
i like watching tv to feel a little better i dunno if thats self carre.
@WinterM111
Im sorry youve had a bad day and a bad week. That sounds like a really stressful situation. I just wanted to say welcome and let you know were glad youre here and to have you as part of our community.
Hey there @WinterM111 *offering safe hugs*
Welcome here! We are really glad to have you here with us.
First of all, I am really sorry that you have to go through all that. I am glad to hear that you are safe right now at least tho.
It is definitely something that noone should experience and you have the right to say no and if he is not respecting it you have the right to take further steps. Most places nowadays have really good systems in place to support victims like you and it may even be possible that there is some place in the university you could reach out for help or just advice. Of course, there is no pressure on you, I know it is really hard for you right now but I just want you to know that you do have the right to set your own boundaries and whatever your step-dad does is not your fault and he is 100% responsible for it and you have the right to reach out for help if you ever feel comfortable doing so. :)
Also, we are always here for you as well if there is anything we maybe able to support you around here. You are not alone in this :)
I think watching TV does definitely sounds like a good way of taking care of yourself and just keeping your mind budy a little bit :)
I do hope to hear from you later on around here, but no pressure on you, of course :)
Stay strong and awesome!