Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in: Saturday, 29th of June, 2019
Happy Saturday every-amazing-one! I have been really looking forward to hear from you again. 
How are you feeling today? :)
How has this week been for you? Do you have anything you would like to share? :)
I just had a really long week. I mean nothing band, just end of quarter at work so means a whole lot more work so that left me a little bit drained soo today I found that I would just like to spend time with all you amazing people here without really bringing much of a topic. :)
Is there anything on your mind you would like to share? :)
I would be really glad to listen no matter what. Also, while we are at it...we could also bring a pillow fort. I mean, I think it was quite a long time ago since we have last built our very own pillow fort here.
What do you think? What would you bring to our - or your very own - pillow fort and how would it look like? ^-^
I know that I like Christmas/fairy lights. :)
Of course, as always, all of the above questions are optional. If you would just like to say hi or sit around with us or if you would just like to have hug you are always welcome as well. We are glad to have you here with us no matter what. :)
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I'll bring hot cocoa with marshmallows to the pillow fort (it's a amagic thermos that will never spill)!
Hey there @betterchoices *offering safe hugs*
It is always really nice to have you here with us!
I do hope that you are having a good weekend so far. :)
Hot cocoa and marshmallows sounds really nice as well to have in a pillow fort, I really love that idea :)
Stay awesome!
i really like the fort. i have had a lot of triggers this week with my crap ass rude neighbours. im lonely. its hard to wake up alone with severe ptsd. ive had a rough time. its tested my faith in everything. its hard to get back on your feet. im really tired. its been a lot of bad and not much good and im tired.
@silverlamp I'm so glad you're here and shared this. :)
Hey there @silverlamp *offering safe hugs*
We are really glad to have you here with us!
I am really sorry to hear that you have had such a tough week. It can be definitely hard to live and deal with PTSD but I want you to know that you are not alone in this here. We are here for you no matter what. If and when you may feel ready we would be glad to listen to whatever is on your mind and, in the meantine, we are just glad to have you here with us, joining us in our pillow fort. We can get through this together. I believe in it and I believe in you! :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark wow your post made my week, thank you!
It's Saturday! Which means no work tomorrow! I already finished work for the day. I was really nervous about working again because I took a year off from working because of my mental health but it's going okay. I was especially nervous about my job because it requires a lot of patience with myself and the kid I work with. I do ABA therapy for a kid with autism and it's so rewarding to watch him learn new things. I had a job like this back in February before my car accident and it only lasted a month because I started having panic attacks before my sessions because I felt like I wasn't good enough for the job. I have a much better supervisor now than I did then. My supervisor gives me a lot of helpful feedback and says I'm improving a lot and the kid I work with is such a sweetheart.
On another note my mental health is finally doing much better. I read an article about psychotic breaks and went down a rabit hole of reading about psychosis and psychotic episodes and I'm starting to wonder if I had a psychotic break after a traumatic situation. There was something that happened in November 2017 and after that my life spiraled out of my control. I was dissociating all of the time, I became angry and aggressive (Which is not my character normally). and I started banging my head when overwhelmed. I was having a lot of paranoid thinking and I kept accusing mental health professionals of making me worse... but that's because of the way they were treating me, but now that I can think more clearly I do think a lot of times they were doing their best to control the behaviors. I feel like they didn't try to treat what was going on most of the time and ignored it as behavioral and I think there was something more going on because I didn't feel like I was in control during the extreme behaviors. It was really traumatizing and now I'm just trying to make sense of all of it. I just wanted to share this with someone and didn't know where else to share.
Hey there @InvaderStitch *offering safe hugs*
We are really glad to have you here with us!
I am gald to hear that you are having a day for yourself, without work, to just recharge and relax a little bit now. I do always wait for my weekends as well so I can imagine that you feel the same way as well. :)
Also, I am just really happy to hear that you do enjoy your job. I know that jumping back into a job like that and start to work again can be really scary but I am really proud of you that you have done so and I am really just so happy to hear that you do enjoy your job like that. I mean, a good supervisor and some good feedback can really make all the difference and just having such a sweetheart to work with sure sounds like a huge plus as well ^-^
Oh...first of all, I am really glad to hear that you are doing better. I can imagine it had to be really hard to go throug all that and I am just so happy to hear that your mental health is improving now. :)
Traumatic situations sure can trigger very strong reactions. I mean even "unproportionate" ones as someone may be more sensitive to certain triggers. In my experience that is something that a lot of people tend to overlook or just ignore which is not reallly useful for sure. I am not expert tho.
I know, however, that losing that sense of control can be just really hard, scary, and overall awful experience and I am sorry that you have had to go through all that. I am sure your doctors and therapist had good intentions of keeping it in check however may not have realized the full magnitude of it.
As I have said earlier I am really not an expert, so I am not sure what is the right thing to do in such a situation but maybe all those feelings were really multiplied due to those paranoid episodes as well leading to you feeling the way you have felt. Or, well, they were really not understanding you and your problem so much. Both is very much possible.
Either way tho, I am really happy that you are feeling better and I am glad that you have shared this with us :)
Stay awesome!
How are you feeling today? :) Today I feel a bit exhausted. . . everything just feel likes more work.
How has this week been for you? The beginning felt like i was doing down a water slide to find out there was no water. . . however friday, I found out that I had been putting too much pressure on myself for things that were NOT all my fault. Note: I will admit, some of the drama was mine, but I will fight demons back then that only have gotten bigger now, but I feel like I was able to at least figuratively get a shot at one. So overall minus the exhaustion, I feel lighter.
Do you have anything you would like to share? :) Please send me prayers or positive vibes so my family can find a better place and I can get a new therapist.
Hey there @Rebekahwriter13 *offering safe hugs*
We are really glad to have you here with us!
Oh, I am sorry to hear that you are feeling so exhausted. Could you maybe take a break, some time for yourself? :)
I mean, you do definitely deserve a break and just some time for yourself to relax and recharge after such a week. I do know that sometimes things can start to spiral out of hand once you are fighting all those demons but I am glad to hear that you have been able to have a little victory in there and that you are feeling lighter now. I mean, it definitely is something that would deserve a bit of a break to process either way! :)
Of course, I know that it is not always a possibility to take a break but, either way, I want you to know that you are not alone in this and we are here for you if there is anything we may be able to help you with and sending all the positive energy and prayers in your way we can :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark thank you for the hugs.
Hi Red.
Sorry you had an extra busy week. Hope this week is better for you.
I dont know what to say anymore. I feel sad and alone. I have my mom still. Yes, I know, its probably the depression and the PTSD. But you know what? I really dont care right now. Just want it to stop hurting. So much on my mind, but no way to express it. And Im not sure that I trust much of anyone with the way Im really feeling anymore anyway. It wasnt done on purpose and I dont even know how or what happened but I ended up getting hurt. Again. Feeling misunderstood, feeling judged, etc. Is that really true? I dont know. Some of it could be the depression and PTSD tweaking my perspective because I know it certainly does that sometimes. I just feel so tired. I dont want this pain anymore. I am tired of fighting Im tired of thinking things are gonna get better just to have them crash down on me again. Although Honestly my life is better than its been a long time. I dont know whats happening in my brain right now. Im probably fully experiencing more emotions or something. Its been a long time and a lot of years that Ive been pretty numb. Anyways… Im hurting the people I wouldve turned to the floor I will not ask for help anymore. Theyre still good people but unfortunately they do not seem to be support people that I can rely on anymore. I feel alone, I have so many thoughts and feelings which I used to block out. I feel sad and alone and sick. Sorry. Any encouragement would be appreciated.
Hey there @pioneeringBanana1598 *offering safe hugs*
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a tough time right now. I understand that all those feelings built up and just walled away for so far can be really hard to deal with and overwhelming. I do not know how it may feel and, I suppose, neither do others. I know that it can be really hard, to put into words, to share with others and I know that the attitude of some people who would just like to fix the problem, fix you can really backfire. I have had that happen to me some times as well. Simply just listening or just being there are such an overlooked and underestimated things lately.
I know that it can feel invalidating even and just hurts at times as well. I mean, I do really, really want you to know that your feelings are valid and important. They always are and so are you, valid and important. It may not be much but I do want you to know that we all are here for you. No pressure of course, I know that it is just tough, overwhelming, confusing, and scary at times but just take it one step at a time, there is no hurry here.
You already are making such an amazing progression either way. I have seen you grow so much since you are here and I just want you to know that I am so very proud of you, you are just very, very strong and brave. :)
There is absolutely no pressure on you but if there is anything you would ever like to share or anything we would be able to help with we are always here for you. Or, you know, if you would just like to say hi, sit around, get a hug or just join in our pillow fort - or have your own here - we are always glad to have you here with us. You are not alone in this here, we are all in this together and we can get through this together. I do believe in it anyway and I believe in you. :)
Stay strong and awesome!
