Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in: Saturday 2nd of February, 2019
Yay, I am so happy to hear from you once again! ^-^
How are you feeling today? :)
How has this week been to you? Do you have anything on your mind you would like to share about it? :)
Soo...I have some long weeks behind me and I started to visit a therapist again this week after a loooong break without doing so so I am kind of drained, sooo...that means it is time for some self-care and just relaxing! ^-^
I have to admit, I am usually not the best when it comes to self-care and tend to neglect it but it is just a work in progress thing for me. :)
I mean, I know that it can be really hard at times to actually take a break and it may feel like you do not deserve it but you do, you do deserve a break and just to spend time with whatever helps you to recharge and just to take good care of yourself.
You do deserve the love, the time, and the care. You are important, the most important person in your life! 
So, with that in mind, what is your favourite self-care activity? When was the last time you have got to do it? :)
Can you maybe go for it and do it right now? ^-^
Of course, as always, all of the above questions are optional and if you would just like to say hi or just sit by us for a little bit you are always welcome as well. It is always awesome to just have you here with us, no matter what.
Also, feel free to join @Hoxenos, @SoftWhispers and @MelSue84 for a discussion at 3:00 PM ET! :)
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@redmark not doing good at the minute, even trying to stay grounded is hard
@crimsonLime6525 be strong, you aren't alone lime <3
Hey there @crimsonLime6525 *offering safe hugs*
It is always so nice to hear from you around here!
I am sorry to hear that you are not feeling good right now. I want you to know that you are not alone in this and that together we can get through this. I believe in you. :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark Im sorry for posting
@crimsonLime6525 You have absolutley nothing to be sorry for. I am always happy to see you here and hear from you. I am sorry that you are going through such a though time right now. Is there anything we may be able to help you with?
@redmark Heyy there Red hope you are doing ok
So, with that in mind, what is your favourite self-care activity? When was the last time you have got to do it? :)
Mines Movies Gaming DJing Art Singing quite a few really i was Gaming last night doing some more later but might watch a movie after my chat to get ready for Anxiety Discussion
Hey there @CaringBrit *offering safe hugs*
It is always soo awesome to hear from you around here!
I can't complain I guess but I would really like a "break" with things slowing down for a bit for me but that's it all. Thank you very much for caring about me ^-^
Oh, gaming sounds really nice, what kind of games do you play? Do you have any favourites? :)
Also, I remember that you have mentioned DJing and, also, I have found singing as well to be a really good way to just express emotions - although I am really bad at it :P - Do you have any favourite song or just something in general you would suggest to someone? - as I am always trying to expand my playlists :)
Art is pretty awesome as well, a really good way to express yourself and even feelings that you may not even be able to put into words :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark
aww why dont you take some time for yourself more often if thats what you feel you need
I play 4 different games Runescape Riders of Icarus , Wizard101 and Elder Scrolls online and yup i DJ xd
i love beth crowley or julia brennan little mix rachel platten Daya carrie underwood anything country too etc im pretty broad when it comes to music
I have had very sketchy internet all week. . . some day I've had no internet, between my gout and my sinus headache it's been hard to focus.
I feel like there is so much wrong with me at times that the only reason my family is here is because they are well, family. If they weren't family I think they would run. My sickness and mood swings can really make me cranky. . . they even call me bear.I have anger issues so bad I think my uncle is scared of me, and this is pssing my brother off, because my uncle try to make me happy so I don't get mad and gets stuff I ask for. (However all my brother wants it Vodka and we all know he has a problem, but him. . . but that is a completely different situation., sigh)
Hey there @Rebekahwriter13 *offering safe hugs*
We are so glad to have you here with us!
Ow, I am sorry to hear that you have had trouble with your connection, I know it can be really annoying, especially when you are also dealing with a headache and your gout. I am glad to hear that you have a connection now and let's hope it will stay like this and, also, that you will get better soon. :)
Hmm....I don't know, bears can be kind of cute, if you ask me. Although maybe it is most likely because of my teddy bears that I am on that opinion. In fact, I do not think I have ever seen any live bear in my life, not even in a zoo. Either way, sorry, I know it can be really hard sometimes to deal with all that, your sickness and just all that you have been through but I can see that you are caring, you care about your family and try to not be a "burden" for them. I know very well that sometimes we all do have some rough spells but I also can see that you are a really loving and caring person and I am sure your family can see and feel it as well :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark Thank you for you positive words and please send strong positive vibes that things get better.
Hello!
My self-care for today was to go to the gym. I gently worked out with simple exercises...even though I didn't sleep last night. I find my days are better with than without (sleep of course, but I mean workouts). 
I've been referred twice for CBT for Insomnia but both different therapists told me that I'm not a candidate for it, since I have so many layers of trauma to work on, including an ongoing situation, and that I already do very clean sleep hygiene practices. Ugh! Anything I have success with is short term - my brain protects me and keeps me awake. I wish my body could tell my brain to shut down.
I like the teddy bear, I still haven't gone out to get myself one...maybe that's my next self care - buy a teddy bear! Thank you.
Hey there @WoodViolet *offering safe hugs*
It is really nice to have you here with us!
Going to the gym can be a really good way to take care of yourself and I am glad to hear that you have kept in mind that with the lack of sleep you may only do some light exercises. I do hope you will be able to get some sleep soon as well! ^-^
Insomnia is annoying. I think there are some CBT resources out there on the internet you may try to use, although most likely it would be the best to have someone help you thorugh it but it is not impossible to leanr the basics of CBT anyways on your own, if you are interested on that. I mean, I am not saying to go against what your therapists are saying tho, it's possible that it is better to wait a bit with it until you work a bit more on your traumas but I know that can be really hard to just wait.
Can you maybe ask your thearpist(s) for some alternatives to help you fall asleep fot the time being maybe?
Teddy bears are awesome - and they have really cute ears! :P
I mean, I would say go ahead and get one, I am sure you can even order one from the internet if you do not feel going out to buy one. :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark
Thank you for your suggestions, Red.
Safe hugs to you!
Hi Red. Sorry you have been struggling. Glad you were taking steps to take care of yourself. You matter.
I dont feel well at all right now.
I remember.
I remember pretty much all of it I think, although I am not entirely certain.
The pain is indescribable. No wonder my mind chose to hide this from me all these years.
I dont want to be here anymore. I have absolutely no desire to exist at this moment. I will not act on that to make it happen because I know that to be wrong so I wont do it. But pain yes. Although there is a certain sense of relief finally letting things out of my brain. Well see if that lasts. I feel kind of frozen, like I just cant move. Supposed to finish packing tonight as I am leaving for Florida tomorrow which is very good news, but I cant seem to get out of my bed. This one hit hard. Im so sorry. So many feelings trapped inside for so many years. I never knew. I like to think Im relatively smart but I feel like I have no idea how to deal with this. Im so overwhelmed. Im sorry. Please help if you can. Youre always kind.
Hey there @pioneeringBanana1598 *offering safe hugs*
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
I would not say I struggle, just a bit more stress at work than usual and...some other stuff, but thank you very much for your kind words none the less :)
I am sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time right now tho.
Remembereing and recalling all that has happened to you is a very important step and it is really awesome of you that you have been able to do so. I mean, I am really proud of you but, of course, these memories and all those feelings built up can be very, very painful and just hard to deal with.
First of all, I just want you to know that right now you are here, with us. You are in the present and you are in control. You are safe, strong, and brave. You are not alone in this and we are here, we are here to help you as best as we can, to listen to you if you have anything to share and just keep you company through all this. We are here for you and together we can do this, I believe in you!
Something that helped me when I lost one of my close friends was a metaphor. I mean, I know what you are going through is different, much, much different however in a sense I feel like grief and all those feelings that has just overwhelming you can be like waves of a stormy sea washing over you as you try to catch your breath and keep yourself above the surface. It can feel like there is no end to it, the storm, the waves can really feel overwhelming but you are doing great, every single breath and every single step you take is an achievement and I am really proud of you.
These feelings, this "storm", was building up in you for a long time and then now it has hit you with full force but, it will get better. The sea will calm down. There will be still waves and rough times but it can get better and you can get better at just riding it out. For now, I would say to not push yourself too much and ask for help if you need it.
One thing that can be really hard time at these times is to not isolate yourself. It can be just hard to reach out to others and, even if you do, you are not sure what you would say or you just do not want to burden them. I was honestly surprised that people are understanding tho. Even if I was not able to describe how I am feeling other than just "bad" but they still tried their best and it helped a lot. Just try to reach out to people, someone, anyone. Professional help can be amazing as well so reach out to your therapist if you have one or probably it could be an option to try to look for one :)
As for your trip, I do not know what kind of a trip if would be. I mean, in general I would say do not push yourself too much, some days just surviving is totally fine as well but if, let's say you would be visiting someone in Florida, someone who cares about you, maybe just call them and explain them how you feel and just talk with them. It can help a lot.
I mean, I know it is scary to open up but the thing is that, you do not have to. You can just tell them that you are really struggling and simply in emotional/mental pain but you are not feeling up to share much details of it - or, of course, you can share it as well, it is up to you, but what I have learned that people do really care.
Anyhow, the important thing is just to remind yourself that you are strong, brave, and safe. You are right here, right now and you can totally do this, you can get through this and we are here to help :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@pioneeringBanana1598 I don
@redmark Hi Red. I haven't been around in a little bit so I just wanted to say hi to you.
yay! @practicalIdeal2007 *offering safe hugs*
It is soo awesome to hear from you!
Welcome back, it is always really nice to see you around here and you have just made my day a bit better, thank you! ^-^
Stay strong and awesome!