Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Saturday, 5th of October, 2019
Happy Saturday to every-amazing-one! I am really happy to hear from you once again! 
How are you feeling today? :)
How has this week been for you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it? :)
Sooo, I have survived my dentist appointment, the first of many. On that note tho, I am sorry for this check-in being a little bit late today like this.
There are still many appointments ahead of me before I could have my teeth done and repaired but it is important to take it one step at a time and to make sure that you never just set overwhelming goals for yourself.
Of course it is a tough balancing act, life can really overwrite any plans or goals you do have but setting SMART goals helped me actually. I have used to set the vaguest of goals for myself and never achieving anything, which in turn has just made me feel even worse about myself.
Now, however I believe that one small step at a time I will be able to get there. Just trying to make sure that I am staying on the path that I believe is the best for myself and setting small and specific goals for myself as illustrated above helping me a lot in that.
For this check-in, I would like to challenge you to set one goal for yourself using the above points. You do not have to share it with us but, of course, if you want to, I am always glad to hear from you :)
Of course, as always, all of the above questions are optional, there is no pressure on you to answer any of those. If you would just like to say hi or just sit around and spend some time with us, we are always glad to just have you here with us! :)
Also, as usual, we are also stacked up with a whole lot of safe hugs, so feel free to grab yours if you would ever need one :)
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@redmark
Hello, I am feeling extremely low today, but then I have been feeling this all week, and that is kind of my fault. I've been having relationship issues, and instead of voicing what was wrong, and trying to be more open I instead pushed the person away and told them that I couldn't do it anymore. The next day I realized I made a mistake, and I told them that, and I finally said one of the things I've been keeping from them all this time, and well...they're thinking about stuff, and we may get back together, but for the most part I don't really have much hope for that. I know they aren't dating anyone, but that doesn't mean they will want me back after all of this. They told me they'd figure out how they feel at the end of this week, and they did say they wanted to try again, but the thing I told them is making them kind of unsure about stuff. I didn't figure that it would make anything easier which is why I had never said it in the first place, but I knew that if this relationship was going to start off right, I can't keep hiding these things or else we will stay in our same issues and I will continue hurting them doing so.
Hey there @FangsInsanity *offering safe hugs*
It is really nice to have you here with us!
That sounds like a really tough week for sure...
Communication is just so important in any relationship but then there are those things which are really just hard and actually scary to say out, to verbalize even for yourself. It sure is hard to find some sort of balance at least at times and building boundaries is tough....setting them so you feel safe but then also open up and trust others.
I mean, I suppose it is just something that takes time and there are so many hard obstacles like this to overcome and it sure requires a strong relationship, a strong bond. I can understand you, I can see why it is sometimes just easier at the moment to push people away and, of course, I can understand them as well. I do not really think anyone is at fault here.
Of course, in hindsight, it is always easy but I am sure that at that moment there were just so much more thoughts and feelings just going on inside of you. I mean, really, I just hope that after giving it sometime they will want to try this thing out again and see if it might work, with given enough time and probably somewhat improved communication now that you have started to open up to them :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark can I just sit for a little while?
Hey there @crimsonLime6525 *offering safe hugs*
Of course you can! We are always really happy to have you here with us!
I mean, you are not alone in this, we all are in this together :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark thank you, dont feel very strong or awesome right now. Very emotional and feeling very alone
@crimsonLime6525 I mean, I know that reaching out for help, or just generally reach out to others can be really tough and scary at times like this but I am really proud of you and also happy that you have reached out to us here :)
I know it may sound like a cliché I just keep repeating but it always nice to hear from you around here and, you know, we are just being here for one another and together...together we will get through all this. I do believe in that anyway.
How am I feeling
[Warm but sad, a bit foggy]
I'm trying to decide if I should fix a mistake I feel like I made recently or work on accepting that I'm not perfect and just move on.
The mistake is one that wouldn't be easy for me to fix, and the people affected will likely forget before long, but it kept me up last night agonizing over it..
@AM2Wondering
Continued
I feel a bit guilty for taking an ibiprophen to help me eventaully get to sleep, I don't think it's what most people would take, but I was clenching my jaw really hard and was stiff from stressimg myself out, so I think it helped.
As far as what I'm working on, I've been practicing studying consistently, and drinking enough water. Hopefully I'll be able to study more soon, I want to be as ready for college as I can. (I have my GED, so I'm not in school)
Hey there @AM2Wondering *offering safe hugs*
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
Oww, it is tough, I know that I can be just really tough on myself as well for making any mistakes...
On the other hand tho, we are all humans. I think making mistakes is just part of being human and, really, everyone makes mistakes even if driven by the best of intentions.
I mean, if possible, maybe it would worth to try to fix it, however, it is really important to do not push yourself too much and do not just take on too big of a task by yourself to fix it. I mean, in general, I think it is okay to make mistakes and they are always a great opportunity to learn from and grow either way :)
Drinking enough water is something I should be working on as well. Also, I am glad to hear that you are making some time to just study and imporive yourself before going to college :)
Stay awesome!
How are you feeling today? :)
I've been feeling pretty down and unproductive today. I have some medical testing coming up next week an hour drive from where I live. Trying to figure out more about exactly what wrong with me as I battle chronic illness. I'm really nervous about the tests since theyre are mostly pretty invasive and without sedatives, I'm not sure how I'm going to handle my PTSD and not have a panic attack while the doctors touch certain parts of my body and do various things that will likely trigger me. I know the tests are important for my health to figure out whats wrong but I'm still dreading them.
How has this week been for you? Do you have anything you would like to share about it? :)
I've been pretty sick for the past few weeks and haven't had any "good" health days. I am learning how to play Blackbird by the Beatles on th guitar though and that has helped lift my spirits. My puppy Cookie is also making good progress on his potty training, much due to the help of my fiance Sara who does most of the work when I'm too sick in bed to take good care of him.
Hey there @SunflowerSummer42 *offering safe hugs*
It is really nice to have you here with us!
I am sorry to hear about all those medical issues. I understand that it can be really tough to live with such a tough chronic illness like that. Also, I think going to a doctor is just always scary and really stressful especially with such testst ahead of you to be taken by the dotors.
Of course, the invasive nature of these tests can also be really triggering with someone dealing with PTSD but I do hope that they will be helpful for you in the long run and also that you will be able to get through them and then just get some good rest and recharge a bit :)
Playing the guitar does really sound like a good way to just distract yourself a bit from all those things and to just express yourself in a creative way. Also, I am really happy to hear about Cookie making such a good progress with his potty training. As well as I am glad to hear that you have such a supportive fiance :)
Stay strong and awesome!
How are you feeling today? :) I had a pretty good day.
How has this week been for you? It was up and down, but I had good support
Do you have anything you would like to share about it? :) I had a bad day wednesday, but I plan to make this week better.
Hey there @Rebekahwriter13 *offering safe hugs*
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
I am really glad to hear that you are having a good day! :)
I mean, I do hope that you will be able to have a nice and relaxing weekend after that week of ups and downs you have had. I am really glad to hear that you are having plans to do so either way :)
Stay awesome!
HI!! Things have been about the same. I found this digital art app, that will allow me to make comics, so I am making one based of my trauma and a lot of the more proment aspects of my life. I am not gonna make the charater look like me, but have the same general life. I am gonna call it "Silenced", because due to my home life I am basically partially muted (my vocal cords only work 50% of the time, if I am lucky, due to severe damage to several areas of my throat). I may pubish it on Line Webtoons, so if any of yall have that and are interseted, I will tell yall when it is out. I recently have not been able to see anything out of my left eye, execpt little blobs of color, so, yay for that. Mom and Dad have joined in on my abuser's fun, except they are more mental, only physical sometimes. My abuser is both, but more physical than Mom or Dad. Anyway, how have you all been?
Hey there @aiko123 *offering safe hugs*
It is always really nice to have you here with us!
Art sure can be a really amazing way to just express yourself. I am really glad to hear that you have found that app you can write and draw comics with now. I do hope that you will find it helpful to have a way to vent through that art and just share a bit about yourself through your comics. I do definitely look forward to see it if and when it may be out :)
On the other hand tho, it does sound like you are going through some really tough stuff currently. I mean, first of all, if you experience such symptoms with your eye it would probably be the best to see a doctor with it. A lots of things are easy - or easier - to threat if they have been diagnosed early on.
Also, are you at a safe place now? I mean, I just want you to know that we are always here for you but also maybe it would be worth to try to reach out to someone around you, like a teacher, school counselor or so on if you are not in a safe place. Although, I know that it is not always an option to reach out for help so no pressure, but please try to take good care of yourself either way :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark
*returns safe hug*
I don't really have anyway to go to the doctor, since I don't have a driver's license yet, but I may be able to get my parents to take me (very slim chance though). I am very excited about my comic too. So far it has been helping to just be able to vent. I don't really have anywhere else to go, and the school counselor makes me nervous, which I know it is a bit irrational, but everybody kinda makes me nervous now. I told my friends about what is happening at how, and they just kinda dismissed it. Thank you for the support though.
@redmark Hey Red - How are you? Congratulations on your dentist visit. I'm glad you went and I hope you'll be feeling better soon. My dentist appointment is tomorrow but the whole touching thing - just nervous.
I normally don't post in here all that much - I mean I do sometimes but well Idk - that's sort of a story I'm just learning to share. Idk - sorry I may bounce abit with my thoughts here.
I'm having a hard time dealing or coping - what ever you want to call it. I'm having a hard time accepting myself and other things. Moments of feeling like it's all my fault and I just got what I deserve and Idk - maybe happiness just doesn't fit in to the picture. I spend alot of time just really hating myself - hating who I am - it's wrong - I know it is but Omg - it's there. I'm having a hard time functioning - if it's not the depression - it's the anxiety. I know I'm not alone with this struggle but it's so freaking hard to reach out and ask for help. Hard to admit the struggle. I just feel so angry most of the time. I don't know what to do with it sometimes because I end up taking it out on myself. I had a moment of self compassion last week but it was sort of short lived. Idk - there's more I'd like to say but - it's all negative.
Thanks for letting me vent alittle - have a good week - take care
Hey there @mytwistedsoul *offering safe hugs*
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
I am doing fine, thank you. My dentist visit has turned out to be much more eventful than I have expected. With that said tho, it was much less painful than I have expected, so things have gone pretty well so far :)
Of course, just the fact that there are someone like working in your mouth and all that is quite...uncomfortable for sure. I can understand that it really is something that can be anxiety inducing.
It is quite tough to reach out for help and support. I mean, first step on the way is to just accept that you are not okay which is really scary. I mean, you know and feel that whatever is going on within you is "not okay" but nobody really wants to admit to it, nobody wants to be "not okay".
I mean, even after that it is quite hard to really find the words to verbalize it and, even then, it can be really hard to just actually convince yourself that you are worth all that time and energy that other will need to put into it - not even talking about love, care, and compassion.
There are just so many steps leading up to even just the point of reaching out for help and, even though it is often considered the beginning of the recovery journey, it is indeed actually quite far into the path usually.
I mean, with all that said, I am genuinely always happy to hear from you around here. I know it is hard to really believe that, I know those thoughts of self-loathing, just the doubt of why would anyone care or even why should anyone care but you really are not alone in this. We do care, we do share so many struggles, in our own ways, and it is through those that we have got to know amazing people like you here and connect to them.
Quite of a strange concept, I suppose, but I will always be happy to just come here and talk with you and talk with the others here. :)
Stay awesome!
This is wonderfully helpful and I shared it with my friends! Thanks so much!!
Hey there @betterchoices *offering safe hugs*
It is always really nice to have you here with us!
I am glad to hear that you have found this post helpful. I do hope that your friends will find it useful as well. :)
Stay awesome!
