Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Saturday 6th of April, 2019
Happy Saturday! I have really missed you all. 
How are you feeling today? :)
How has this past week been to you? :)
So, I do not know if I have mentioned it before but music is just such essential part of my life. I mean, listening to it so far, I really need to pick up my guitar and practice on it more. Anyway, that is just why it was such an amazing experience to meet someone similar here. Someone who shared that, someone that has found music as a way to express their feelings as well and just help them through hard days as well :)
There is just something special to it. There is just something special to art. Writing, painting, music, drawing, you name it giving you a creative way to express yourself or just see yourself in it and help you expressing you so much that words not always can and I just love it so much :)
Do you have any creative ways like that you can express yourself and your feelings?
It can be really anything, any kind of art and not only necessarily things you made. I remember, that besides music, there was a movie - The Anthem of the Heart - as well for example for me which has really just helped me a lot at the time I have watched it with having such an amazing way to express severe social anxiety disorder.
Of course, as always, all of the above questions are optional and there is no pressure on you answering any of them. You are always welcome to just say hi to us here or to just sit with us for a bit or to share whatever may be on your mind. Whatever you may be comfortable with :)
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@redmark hi
Hey there @crimsonLime6525 *offering safe hugs*
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
I hope you are having a good week and you are doing well :)
Stay awesome!
Hello Red. Always good to hear from you. Thank you for the cute GIFs.
I havent done a lot of music or art to express myself. But, I know sign language and I find that is at times a helpful way to express myself. Especially if I just cant say the words out loud or whatever. Sometimes I can express myself more easily in sign language.
Overall Im feeling a lot better than I have in a long time. I havent been feeling as well the last few days though. Flashbacks mostly, some body memories too. I kind of want to talk about it think its some feedback, but not necessarily in this public of a form. Do you by any chance accept pm? Its OK if you dont.
Thanks.
@pioneeringBanana1598 just wanted to leave you a hug if that
@crimsonLime6525
Yes please. Thank you.
Hey there @pioneeringBanana1598 *offering safe hugs*
It is always really nice to hear from you around here!
I am glad to hear that those gifs help you a bit! :)
I actually have a friend of mine who also has learnt sign language and once we have had a conversation about it and he also mentioned it to me that it is much more straight forward and much easier sometimes to express even complex things. I mean, I found it interesting anyway and I am glad to hear that it helps you like that as well :)
Ohh...uhm....I kind of dread 1-on-1 conversations in general - social anxiety and staff - and for that reason I do actually do not have a Listener account, only this Member account and Members cannot privately talk with other Members. I mean, I am sorry... :(
I mean, I am here tho. At least if you would just like to talk with someone - not about the flashbacks or anything, just in general - I would really love to or if there is anything I may be able to do to help you with I am also here. Even though I am not able to provide 1-on-1 support I still would like you to know that you are not alone in this, as much as this place allows me to be there for you I am here.
Do you want me to try to ask around of the listener friends of mine if they have someone they could personally suggest? I mean, I can do that as well, if you would like to.
Either way, I am really sorry >.<
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark
Thats cool that you have a friend who knows sign language. Hes totally right. Its one of the things that helped me learn how to express myself more assertively, because I was a very indirect communicator in English.
No need to be sorry! If one on one doesnt work for you, no problem. You provide awesome support for us here. I look forward to the post every Saturday because I know its going to have cute GIFs and really positive encouraging things from you. Thats amazing!
I had a total… What do I want to call it? PTSD meltdown? This afternoon. A friend of mine was trying to be helpful, but he accidentally hit a really big trigger. I thought he was saying that I was like another friend of ours who recently triggered some things for me by aggressively communicating some negative things she felt about me while I felt trapped in the small physical space we were in. I didnt even know that the feeling physically trapped in a small space made a difference to me but I have learned it does sometimes. Anyway, when I thought he was saying I was the same as that friend of ours, it totally hit the panic button because during my recent aggressive conversation with the other friend of ours, the way she spoke to me and reminded me very much the kind of stuff that used happen when I was a kid. I felt like he was saying I was like someone who reminded me of A terrible person. And it made me feel like I was being likened to my abuser.
@pioneeringBanana1598
And I am NOTHING like that person!!!!!!!!
Just sayin
@pioneeringBanana1598 You are nothing like that person! Not at all.
You are such an amazing person. Caring, thoughtful, strong, and brave. Whoever did those things to you, is neither of those and you definitely are a much better person to them. I know tho that sometoimes the brain can really make weird conenctions and I am sorry to hear that the conversation you just have ahd with that friend has managed to trigger such. I can imagine it has to be hard, that thought, that feeling but, I really want to re-iterate, that you are not at all like that person.
In fact, you know, I am really looking forward to hear from you every week as well. I do not know if it matters or not but I am really grateful to have you here with us and I do mean that I am really proud of you and I just find you, as a person, as a whole, inspiring. I mean, I do not think I say that enough, I point traits and things often that I am proud of or find inspiring about you but the thruth is, just as a whole person, you are really amazing as well!
@redmark
Thank you. That
@redmark
Bad flashback last night. Pain. No words to describe. Help please? So much pain inside.
@pioneeringBanana1598 *offering safe hugs*
I know those flashbacks can be really though but you are here with us now, you are safe and we are here with you to help and support you and just be here for you if may need anything from us. We can get through this together. I believe in you, I know how strong you are, just take your time now, one step at a time, no matter how small it may be, there is no pressure.
@redmark
Thank you. Thanks for your continued support. I think you said something the other day about maybe asking your listeners if they know of anyone who is available & able to listen to trauma survivors like myself? I had a couple of listeners on here but they havent logged in in the last couple months so would be nice to have someone a little more current. If you have any suggestions for me? Ive tried just connecting to whatever listeners are available at the moment, but nine times out of 10, they are neither equipped nor prepared to deal with trauma related stuff. Gets a bit frustrating.
@pioneeringBanana1598 I can sit with you if you would like me to, you
@crimsonLime6525
Thank you, that is kind of you to offer.
Hi....
I
Hey there @goodCup8496 *offering safe hugs*
It is really nice to have you around here with us!
I am sorry to hear that you are having such a rough week. Is there maybe something we can help you with? I mean, you are not alone in this here, we all are here for you and together we can get through this. I believe in it anyways and I do believe in you. :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark well I like the movie The Big Friendly Giant (1989) that I was watching today during a hail storm because it helped me think that someday I could have a friendly grandfather like the BFG instead of the pedophiles raping me like who were like the other giants that Sophie and the BFG and the Queen defeated. :) I'm a human trafficking survivor. My mom trafficked me. Also she abused me in other ways like the head of the orphanage where Sophie lived. No one ever rescued me, I had to rescue myself as an adult but I did it, and the BFG story was one of the things which helped me. :) Thank you Rohld Dahl. I don't know if I could have survived without you and your stories. :) I have PTSD now but movies and music really help. :) There is a bad hail storm going on right now but I'm not too scared, just happy to be watching my cartoon movie, glad not to be homeless outside like I usually am or in my tent. Yeah being indoors during a hail storm is a great blessing! Woohoo! K bye y'all :)
Hey there @TreeHugger7777 *offering safe hugs*
We are really glad to have you here with us!
I am terribly sorry that you have had to go through all that. I can imagine it had to be really hard for you but I am glad that you have got the stories of Dahl with you. It can certainly give a lot of power and hope in dark situations when you just find a story like that you can identify with and have a happy ending, a way out. I mean, I am just in general glad that you have made it through and that you are here with us today and I am just so very proud of yourself for being so strong and brave and get out of that situation. I mean, you are quite inspiring :)
Of course, I know that these things are very hard to deal with, but I am glad you do have music and movies to help you through trying times like this. Also, I do want you to know that you are not alone here and if there is anything we may be able to help you with we are always here for you.
Stay strong and awesome!