Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Saturday 6th of October, 2018
Hey there! Can you believe one week has passed again already? 
You are doing such an amazing job getting through all these days and weeks, I am really proud of you all and I am just so happy that I can hear from you once again today. 
How are you feeling on a scale from 1 to 10? How has this week been for you? :)
Generally I do not really use this scale of 1 to 10 to "rate" feelings because I honestly am not sure how to use it but I can totally see it being useful and just easier to say a number - high or low - than trying to describe all the feelings at times.
Also, I think it can be useful for us to somehow measure the way we feel to set goals and setting goals is just such an important thing!
Of course we all just want to have that perfect ten but I do not really think I have seen much people ever saying that they feel like a 10 or, actually, I have noticed it on myself and other as well that more often than not, we are aiming for the lower half of the scale, because there is "always room for improvement" but, I am wondering, what would a 10 look like for you? Could you describe it? :)
Generally a 10 stands for something perfect, something that may be really vague and really hard to achieve just from where we are standing at the moment.
However by setting smaller goals and going for it step by step, in a way that we can measure our growth and just have checkpoints through the way that re-assure us that we are heading into the right direction. :)
For this, I am curious, how would you describe the number just one higher at the scale than you are feeling right now? Is there something you could try to do today, or soon, to get closer to it? :)
I would really love to hear and once again learn from you about this topic as well as just feel free to share whatever is on your mind, I would be glad to just listen as well, and of course all questions are optional, so do not feel pressured to answer any of them. :)
*boops* @inventiveOrange1 @HearingYourHeart @TreesandWine @guyb @Sharkradio @MKjart @Lilyflower0817 @caterpillargirl @Survivetoalive @exuberantTriangle2562 @coraline23 @Ivorycat5573 @fearlessPear8268 @SemicolonSurvivor @weare1 @weareall1 @Annaka1 @moonchild95 @summernight69 @sheaintgotnoshoes @rationalWillow8882 @AMusicalSilence @catsith @energeticPenny8 @Rebekahwriter13 @behindhazeleyes @sensitiveShade5337 @singercrystalspirit @wittyTree8219 @Ocendade @Rpjrx @Brooke12 @Axeman53 @kkSp3nc3 @Softforesthsp77 @AriannaPink @sereneSoul23 @promisemehope @IPreferWinter @Zombii @Godborned @Jessica86 @resourcefulPond1641 @Lilibuth12 @Tir @Michelle0608 @The_Final_Chapter @BubblegumPuppy68 @ScarletPear1945 @CaloenasNicobarica @Hoxenos @Christine1980 @TheresaWilliams @Compassionatelistener108 @LovelyChantel @unassumingSummer6022 @Reedrainshimmer @resourcefulPond1642 @Kuma0187 @NonHoPaura @courageousNorth9872 @NacienteLuz @Helpfulsoul64 @TheHoneyDoll @Saif1for1Resilience @butters45 @purpleWest8143 @silverIceCream21 @Dandelionmoon @Bumblebee16 @consciousawakening @Shaiya365 @archerzvy @JJi @CopingwithTrauma @musicheals61 @disneynerd23 @Longday08 @sittinginahoneymoon @Quietbeach @loyalYard9488 @thatdramaticsoprano @understandingJackfruit9057 @amiableZebra3993 @Waterstreams057 @placidFriend3007 @AndreT @orchard9786 @sociableSailboat9634 @Calmlake1999 @emotionalMaple9419 @calmballoon3183 @disneynerd23 @MomRNFNP @Pdanziger @easymap6620 @MoreThanAConqueror18 @candyhaunt @namelessgirl99 @plumLake851 @streamoftears @quixoticRaven @Redhawk6547 @Sk1ttles @Shayc1 @Samdoc99 @Mikathewolfdog @Tacomytaco @stella17 @blinkk @PaperCrane1123 @Equalnotabove @felicia96 @CartoonDarling @Tayboi @Compassion21 @lilblackcat89 @ashes @selfdisciplinedTriangle5384 @amiableSummer3420 @FangsInsanity @Anj0806 @Spoonog @rissadawn @brokenflutterby @g00dwitch @No715 @SpruceRaven @tidyMoon3222 @helpfulHuman4992 @Djs3 @dynamicHemlock1736 @Hope3729 @hardworkingStrawberries3477 @courageousCake401 @humorousBeing8966 @NancySV1 @mysticPhoenix883 @oceanmom @gymnast9460 @Nonbinarywaffle7706 @Tbeth @felixfriend @Chels @8883ef @forcefulSkies @spotthedot @courteousNorth5140 @Alcynically @ArianaMay @SB @affectionateNorth4018 @J12g34 @FloweringBunny @loyalDrum2337 @nolongerafraid @CaringBrit @Ambrosia @practicalIdeal2007
If you would like to be added or removed from our taglist please feel free to tell it here or just PM me or @Kate anytime. :)
@Avaray - I just saw you around in the other thread, sorry for missing you!
Hi @redmark, just as an FYI, the list that has been posted recently in multiple check ins (not just you! ❤️) is incomplete (I've also been left off due to this ongoing replication error, as have you lol). This is the full tag list cc @Kate @LifeIsMyCanvas @Anomalia @Hope3729 @summertimesamness
TAG LIST
@InvaderStitch @redmark @Avaray @Shadeshack @BeeLeigh @Faeryschild @Lavendermoonlight @KLM3278 @jr50 @PhoenixPatronus @Morfo66 @raychascotch @KatieMoon1 @Tamba @Jenna0903 @melliotm @PanamaBanana @inventiveOrange1 @HearingYourHeart @TreesandWine @guyb @Sharkradio @MKjart @Lilyflower0817 @caterpillargirl @Survivetoalive @exuberantTriangle2562 @coraline23 @Ivorycat5573 @fearlessPear8268 @SemicolonSurvivor @weare1 @weareall1 @Annaka1 @moonchild95 @summernight69 @sheaintgotnoshoes @rationalWillow8882 @DeborahUK @AMusicalSilence @catsith @energeticPenny8 @Rebekahwriter13 @behindhazeleyes @sensitiveShade5337 @singercrystalspirit @wittyTree8219 @Ocendade @Rpjrx @Brooke12 @Axeman53 @kkSp3nc3 @Softforesthsp77 @AriannaPink @sereneSoul23 @promisemehope @IPreferWinter @Zombii @Godborned @Jessica86 @resourcefulPond1641 @Lilibuth12 @Tir @Michelle0608 @The_Final_Chapter @Halogen @BubblegumPuppy68 @ScarletPear1945 @CaloenasNicobarica @Hoxenos @Christine1980 @TheresaWilliams @Compassionatelistener108 @LovelyChantel @Pureriver56 @unassumingSummer6022 @Reedrainshimmer @resourcefulPond1642 @Kuma0187 @NonHoPaura @courageousNorth9872 @NacienteLuz @Helpfulsoul64 @TheHoneyDoll @Saif1for1Resilience @butters45 @purpleWest8143 @silverIceCream21 @Dandelionmoon @Bumblebee16 @consciousawakening @Shaiya365 @archerzvy @JJi @CopingwithTrauma @musicheals61 @disneynerd23 @Longday08 @sittinginahoneymoon @Quietbeach @loyalYard9488 @thatdramaticsoprano @understandingJackfruit9057 @amiableZebra3993 @Waterstreams057 @placidFriend3007 @AndreT @orchard9786 @sociableSailboat9634 @Calmlake1999 @emotionalMaple9419 @calmballoon3183 @disneynerd23 @MomRNFNP @Pdanziger @easymap6620 @MoreThanAConqueror18 @candyhaunt @namelessgirl99 @plumLake851 @streamoftears @quixoticRaven @Redhawk6547 @Sk1ttles @Shayc1 @Samdoc99 @Mikathewolfdog @Tacomytaco @stella17 @blinkk @PaperCrane1123 @Equalnotabove @felicia96 @CartoonDarling @Tayboi @Compassion21 @lilblackcat89 @ashes @selfdisciplinedTriangle5384 @amiableSummer3420 @FangsInsanity @Anj0806 @Spoonog @rissadawn @brokenflutterby @g00dwitch @No715 @SpruceRaven @tidyMoon3222 @helpfulHuman4992 @Djs3 @dynamicHemlock1736 @Hope3729 @hardworkingStrawberries3477 @courageousCake401 @humorousBeing8966 @NancySV1 @mysticPhoenix883 @oceanmom @gymnast9460 @Nonbinarywaffle7706 @Tbeth @felixfriend @Chels @8883ef @DaisyLion @forcefulSkies @spotthedot @courteousNorth5140 @Alcynically @ArianaMay @SB @affectionateNorth4018 @J12g34 @FloweringBunny @loyalDrum2337 @nolongerafraid @CaringBrit @Ambrosia @practicalIdeal2007
@melliotm
Thanks mel 💚💜
@Avaray x 💜💚⛺
@melliotm Ohh....I see... *offering safe hugs*
Thank you very much for helping me out here! I hope you are having a good day and I am sorry for anyone I may have left out from my taglist! :)
Stay awesome!
No problem, @redmark -- happy to help 🙏🏾 Take care and thank you⛺
@melliotm Thank you for the correct list!
@redmark
Thanks Red 💕
@redmark
Hi Red x
Hey there @Avaray *offering safe hugs*
It is always so nice to see you around here!
I hope you are having a good day and you are feeling good lately. ^-^
Stay awesome!
@redmark
Het red thanks for your kind words and hugs
Been an ok day, been just relaxing doing home stuff.
Hope u r ok x
@Avaray I am glad to hear that you have had an okay and overall relaxing day! :)
I do hope you will have a full weekend like this and you will be able to recharge a bit now.
I am doing mostly okay, thank you very much for asking! :)
@redmark
Xx i hope the other side of mostly becomes ok too... 🌹
Just wanted to say thank you for caring for people, I know it takes time and commitment to do what you do. Thank you xx
@Avaray I only have one week of work left and I will have a whole week off for myself so I would say I am getting there, but there is still that one week to get through tho :)
I love talking with everyone here and just hearing from people from here - I just wish that the circumstances could have been a bit better for all this but I am trying to make the best out of this still! ^-^
@redmark
I hope you enjoy your week off red... And thanks 💜
@redmark
It's really hard to put a number for today. I'm shifting between 1-5 depending on the moment. My mind is racing and my emotions are all over the place. I'm impulsive today, which is never a good thing for me. I shouldn't say never though, because once I impulsively threw away something that probably needed to be thrown away.
Yesterday I put down some goals for the weekend. I need to amend those goals. My goal is to stay safe. Meaning to not do anything to permanently damaging to myself. My mind is stuck in a cycle, I'll try to simplify it so I can explain. I do destructive things > Destructive things are bad > I am bad > Now I feel bad and need to do destructive things. Then I read that and think I sound crazy and it starts a whole new loop, but it all leads back to the same thing.
Hey there @practicalIdeal2007 *offering safe hugs*
We are really glad to have you here with us!
I am sorry to hear that you are having such a hard day. It sounds definitely hard to have your mood and emotions being all over the place like that, especially being in the lower half of the spectrum. I mean, I guess being impulsive can be good sometimes but that is usually not the case with me either. If you ever feel like it we are here for you tho and you can just write out your impulsive thoughts or just whatever you may feel like writing out and I will try my best to support you! :)
That is a nice goal to have! I mean, staying safe is just so important but I know that, sadly, it can be really hard sometimes. I do know that negative cycle as well, that mix of guilt and shame and....who knows what else but I think you are doing a really good job coming here and writing all this out. :)
I am not saying it is easy to break out from it but, in my case anyways, it was possible and I do believe in you, I believe in that you can break out from this cycle as well and we are all here for you! :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@redmark
I forgot to ask how you are doing today?
I feel like my mind is exploding and I can't breath. I just want it all to stop. I want the noise in my head to take a break. My thoughts go to so many things. I want to bleed my feelings. I want to not exist. People say I say these things for attention. If only they knew the truth. The desperation. How much I have tried to find a way to cope.
@practicalIdeal2007 Well....I am okay.....ish. Anyways, I will have only one week of work left before my one week off from work, so I will be able to recharge soon, which is nice :)
Sadly there is still this stigma surrounding many issues like this of people just labelling it attention-seeking but I do know it is not and I am just glad you are sharing this with us here and I do hope this helps, a little bit at least!
Also, I remember that you have shared some poem of yours. Does that help you? Do you think you could maybe write things out? Poems or just a journal or just whatever comes onto your mind putting it onto a piece of paper. I know our situations are very different but I have found it helps me to clear my mind to find an outlet like that to just write my thoughts down and get it out of my head like that - if that makes sense. :)
@redmark
I hope the week goes super fast for you and that you have an amazing break from work.
I had not thought of writing, but it has been a good coping skill for me in the past. Maybe I will try to write a poem are a few poems or something. I might post them if they are not too much.
Thank you.
@practicalIdeal2007 I hope so too, but I guess no matter what I will just coast through it at this point knowing that I will have a week off after it. :)
Writing it out sounds like a really good idea and I will make sure to check it out sometimes! I mean, I can see you have already posted some, I still have some things to get done but I promise I will get there as well!
@redmark On a scale between 1 and 10 I feel like a 5 or 6 at the moment. I have a cold and I had a nightmare last night that almost makes me cry ever since I woke up in the morning. But on the bright side: It's saturday :) So I allowed myself to spend my day with reading books for university. I just hope I'll get a good night's sleep today, I really need it.
I have many goals. One goal I want to achieve during this semester is to get a scholarship for university and a job that actually has something to do with my field of studies. I currently teach and it's not so bad (they pay well), but I'd rather do something that will help me find a job later. A scholarship would help me so much. I need the money, I could finally move out from home! Not that I don't like being home, it's just that it's so far away from university...
Hey there @sincerePark336 *offering safe hugs*
It is really nice to see you around here and hear from you!
Oh, 5 or 6 is pretty good! Although, I am really sorry to hear that you have had such a rough start to your day, nightmares can be such a hard thing to handle but I want you to know that you are in a safe place now! - also, it is okay to cry, if you ever feel like it :)
Having a cold is just frustrating as well, so I hope you will get better soon but I am glad to hear that you have been able to just have a lazy Saturday for yourself reading books and I hope that you will be able to get that good sleep tonight. ^-^
Those are nice goals to have and I can tell that you are working for them really hard! :)
I mean, getting a scholarship sure sounds like a really nice thing and you are really working on it and giving your free time to it, reading books for university and just preparing to give it your best, I am really proud of you for that.
Also, trying to get some experience in your field of studies can be really useful in the future to find a job as well. My university had some companies they were working together in the area and they were usually taking in people for some intern positions and I wonder if you could try to find something like that as well? - I mean, I know it is not an internship you are looking for but I know that some people that I knew have actually stayed where they spent their internship and got hired at the end of it, so it is a possibility. Of course there are many other possibilities too and I am sure you will find the best for yourself. :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark
Thanks for today's checkin, I'm heading of for a shower and bed, stopped taking my sleeping pill so now that i am feeling abit sleepy i am going to try make my brain sleep 💤💤💤💤
💕
@Avaray I hope you will succeed with getting your brain to sleep! :)
A nice shower does definitely sound like a good start for it and I hope you will have a good night's rest.
@redmark
Thanks red ☺
How are you feeling on a scale from 1 to 10? 6 minus my sinus issues
How has this week been for you? :) good when, I stop over thinking
Hey there @Rebekahwriter13 *offering safe hugs*
We are really glad to have you here with us!
Oh....a six is nice, I hope your sinus issues will clear up soon as well! :)
Yep, I wish I could stop overthinking everything as well but I guess one day we will get there and until than we are all here for you and together we can definitely do this! ^-^
I believe in it and I do believe in you anyways :)
Stay awesome!
@redmark
I've been over thinking since I had conscious thought. Sighs. It happens to creative caring minds
@redmark Today is a 1. Just not wanting to exist. Hard to find a reason to keep going. I have no support irl. I have no friends or family. So what's the point anymore?
Hey there @affectionateNorth4018 *offering safe hugs*
It is always really nice to see you around here!
I am sorry to hear that you are down there at one tho. I can imagine it has to be really hard to deal with all this on your own but I want you to know that we are all here for you, even if it is not the same as having people around you.
I wonder, are there maybe some support groups you could join too? I mean, I am having trouble figuring out my gender - which is of course very different from your situation - but for me, finding a support group have helped a lot to ease the feeling of loneliness, of having to deal with all that on my own. I mean, it could probably be useful for you as well, if you have the option :)
Stay strong and awesome!
@affectionateNorth4018
I have no friends either except online.
I hope you find things that that truly make you happy and embrace those
I feel like a 3 maybe. I dont know. I feel like i am ruined and broken and thats all i will ever be. Maybe its possible to be too far in the hole to ever come out.
@Npepsicola
Pepsi, I'm sorry to hear you are struggling so much. I can relate to what you are saying about being too far in the hole. I don't have the answers or much else to say, but I wanted you to know you aren't alone.
@practicalIdeal2007
Thank you. I sometimes feel really alone. Its nice to know that thats not the case. Im sorry that you can relate though
Hey there @Npepsicola *offering safe hugs*
We are really glad to have you here with us!
Oh...hmm...that hole can feel pretty deep sometimes for sure. You know tho, I believe in recovery. For you, for myself, for everyone. It may be that I am just naive but I do really believe in it and I know that you are really strong and if anyone, than you will be able to find your way out of that hole. Also, we are all here for you and together I do definitely believe that we can do this!
I mean, it will most likely take time and it is totally okay. Just take your time and just come here and reach out to us if you ever feel like and we can get through this journey together :)
Stay strong and awesome!
Who all are feeling awful today.... :(
Hey there @Alive101 *offering safe hugs*
It is so nice to see you around here!
There are hard days like this but the important thing is that we all are here for eachother and I do believe in that together we can get through this! I mean, if there is anything we may be able to help you as well you are always welcome here to share too and I would be just glad to listen and suppost you if I can. :)
Stay strong and awesome!
