Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Saturday, 9th of February, 2019

I am so happy to hear from you again! 
How are you feeling today? :)
How has this week been for you? Is there anything you would like to share about it? :)
We have pretty cold weather hear right now sooo....as I am still not the best of taking care of myself in the sense of dressing warm enough at times I am sick (again) so this might not be one of my best check ins but, still, it is a perfect time to just spend time with you amazing people! ^-^
Is there anything on your mind you would like to share? :)
I mean, I know very well that there are those random thoughts you just do not really feel like would fit into the general conversation or thread or just do not want to bother or burden others with or maybe they feel weird. I mean, at least I have a bunch of those aaand I want you to feel free to share anything on your mind right here today and I would be glad to listen. ^-^
Either way, there is no pressure on you of course, if you would just like to say hi or just sit here with us for a while you are always welcome as well and we would be really glad to just have you here with us! 

Also, the name of this gif is actually "cookiegoodday" which made me smile, so I thought I would share it with you :P
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@redmark
Xx
Hey there @Avaray *offering safe hugs*
It is rally awesome to hear from you around here! 
I hope you are doing well and are having a good day! ^-^
I mean, either way, it is just really nice to see you here every once in a while. :)
Stay awesome! 
@redmark
Thanks for your kind words x
It's also good to see you 💜
@redmark
Hi Redmark!
So sorry to hear you are sick again. Hope you can stay indoors and keep warm while recouperating.
My biggest thing to check in...I slept. 5 hours! Last night. Yippee! That is major for me! I hope that it will give me the stamina for today, I already have so many things I want to accomplish! Sleep makes such a difference, but I know I can't take it for granted. I've been battling this severe insomnia for a long time now and have had these reprieves before, but oh how wonderful they are when they arrive!
Hey there @WoodViolet *offering safe hugs*
It is always really nice to hear from you around here! 
Thank you very much. I am trying my best to just rest and get better :)
yay! I am really happy to hear that you have been able to get sleep. A whole 5 hours of it can really make a big change and I am really glad to hear that you are feeling so energized and ready to take on things today. I do hope you will be able to get some more sleep as well soon, hopefully today :)
Stay awesome! 
Hello Red. I am sorry you have a cold. I hope you rest and feel better soon.
I like your GIFs, as always. :)
I am not sure how Im doing today. I was on vacation and a nice sunny, warm place but now Im headed back towards the snow and ice. We are traveling by car so wont be home until late tomorrow night. I was worried that being in the car all day today would be difficult for me as sometimes a lot of time on my hands and nothing to do can be really challenging. Its gone fairly well so far though, so thats a plus.
I still I have a lot of thoughts about if I deserve to be here or not. Thoughts about dying never seem to be too far from my mind unfortunately. I sometimes wonder if the majority of people wouldnt be better off without me? Sad. Dont think its true but still hurts. Sad. :(
I dont know. The other day flashbacks & stuff, then feeling almost guilty that I survived? As if surviving the experience was the wrong thing to do, would have been better to die like the person who hurt me said??? I dont know. But it hurts. And Im tired of feeling guilty or wrong or whatever simply for existing. I dont know what Im saying anymore. Im sorry. I just want to feel better. Not so much pain.
Hey there @pioneeringBanana1598 *offering safe hugs*
It is always so nice to have yu here with us! 
I am glad you have liked the gifs and thank you very much for your well wishes :)
Oh, yay, I am really glad to hear that you have had a vacation at such a nice place :)
I can imagine that getting back to the cold winter can be hard after it and I can totally understand that it can be hard to not really be able to keep yourself busy but I am really glad to hear that it is going well for you so far and I hope you have had a good car ride overall to home :)
Hmm...I would definitely not be better of without you if that matters. I mean, I would miss you for sure. Also, you are really a valuable person, you are really caring, strong and just overall amazing if you ask me. Of course, I know these thoughts as well - sadly - but you know, we are here for you, here to remind you that they are not true as much as you may need it ^-^
You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for it is okay and also important to share your feelings and thoughts and I am glad you do, thank you very much for trusting us like this! 
Whatever happened with you is not your fault and whatever you were told is not true either. I mean, I do mean that I think that you are really an amazing person and someone I am always glad to hear from and I am really glad for your existence and I think you do deserve to survive and live and you do deserve all the good things coming to your way as well. :)
I know, it takes time and I know you are trying your best and you are doing a really amazing job already and I am really proud of you but I just want you to know this and remind you, as often as I may need to ^-^
Stay strong and awesome! 
@redmark
Thanks for your kind words, Red. I appreciate it. But I honestly cant see much point in my existence right now. I will continue on, because Im here and it is what it is, but I think Im in pretty great pain right now. I am so sad and ashamed of myself and so many other things all at once. Right at this moment, I wish I wasnt here. I cant see what good my existence is doing anyone. I guess Ill figure it out sometime in the meantime will endure, pain. Just so much pain sometimes. I am so sad on the inside. I feel broken. Sad. So very sad. Sorry.
@pioneeringBanana1598 you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for 
Especially not for the way you feel or sharing it. Your feelings are always valid and also important and I am really glad that you have decided to share it with us. :)
I mean, I am sorry to hear that you are struggling so much tho. I can imagine that after the opposite of it has been told to you so much it can be really, really hard to believe that you are an amazing, strong, brave, caring person and that I am really, really glad to get to know you here. I know it is hard, and I do not ask you to just magically be happy out of nowhere - because it is not possible - I just really want you to know and remind you as often as I may need to that you are not alone in this and together we can do this, we can get through this and YES, you do deserve it, you do deserve the care and love and you do definitely deserve to exist and NO you are not a burden nor bothering anyone here! *offering safe hugs*
@redmark
Sorry you're sick! Get well soon!
This week has been stressful, but all the frustration seems to be paying off. Things are starting to fall into place.
Hey there @straightforwardWatermelon9084 *offering safe hugs*
It is really awesome to see you around here! 
Thank you for your well wishes, I am trying my best to get a lot of rest this weekend and it seems to be paying off so far :)
I am sorry to hear that you have had such a stressful week tho but I am glad to hear that it seems like it was worth it and in the end it is paying off for you :)
Hopefully you will be able to have some time through this weekend to just rest and recharge a bit tho as you would definitely deserve it ^-^
Stay awesome! 