Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Thursday 12th April 2018

Hello lovely "trauma fam"

Just thinking its time we heard from Winnie the Pooh so something from Piglet today : "The things that make me different are the things that make me."

We began talking about fences and boundaries last week,so here is the sequel.A boundary is a limit or space between you and the other person, a clear place where you begin and they end. We agreed that setting boundaries and limits is important,but not easy, and especially at first. Its pretty disheartening when the boundaries we are trying to put in are ignored and yet again we seem to be trampled on So what can be helpful? Healthy boundaries serve to establish one's identity. The first step then is look at one's values and personal beliefs,to determine what you cherish, and how you want to be treated. It can be like creating a personal bill of rights and can be empowering..Secondly to let the other person know by setting limits which let them know how you want to be treated, how far they can go. Its about finding your voice and using it, frimly and clearly. If you have to say no to something, make it simple and firm, without having to give explanations. A friend told me recently that when she said, "No, I do not do translations." she was pleasantly surprised to find this was respected. And that's what often happens.... when we put in clear boundaries they are respected, we are respected. But not by everyone, and some may not like this new behaviour and resist or resent it.

And just as we expect others will respect our boundaries. we need to respect other people's boundaries even if they are different to ours. That makes for healthy relationships and honest communication avoids crossing boundaries. As Piglet said its the difference that makes me

How is your day going? What do you find helpful in setting boundaries? Or pop in to say hi! Love to hear from you. This is your space and a safe place. x