Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Tuesday 11th July 2017
Good morning all
Well today we find ourselves back at the beginning of the Winnie the Pooh stories where A.A.Milne began his writing, with the little boy Chtristopher Robin.
"What about a story," says Christopher Robin. "What about a story," I said. "Could you very sweetlly tell a Winnie the Pooh one." "I suppose I could," I said. "What sort of stories does he like?" "About himself. Because he's that sort of bear,"
We all have a story. Its a story of our life. We know that to tell our story is part of the recovery from trauma. And usually we tell our trauma story piece by piece as we are able to until it becomes a coherent narrative. And those who listen are our wirnesses, they believe and validate us and our story. But we are more than out trauma story. We have other stories that tell about us...let others know who we are. Does another story come to mind.. it may be funny, adventurous, a special moment.. and many more.
If you'd like to share a story with us, there's a space here. Or you may like to share something of your day, something that's significant, something that's a struggle. We are all here in this safe place to support and encourage you.
@rozie <3
Tag list: to add/remove your name from the daily checkin tag list, please click here
@Avaray @vriska44 @Shadeshack @BeeLeigh @Faeryschild @dancingRainbow45 @Lavendermoonlight @KLM3278 @sujaypai
@sweetMelody95 @jr50 @agreeableKite4304 @PhoenixPatronus @Morfo66 @themainjane @raycascotch
@KatieMoon1 @conscientiousPineapple1782 @Tamba @inventiveOrange1 @Jenna0903 @melliotm @PanamaBanana
@AutumnLeigh @DeborahUK @HearingYourHeart @vriska @TreesandWine @guyb @Sharkradio @MKjart @Tamba @Celestialvoid @WaterLily16 @TheAsh @MKJart @Asiam1971 @philosophicalship9444 @rumplesteeleskin @Survivetoalive @exuberantTriangle2562 @coraline23 @Lilyflower0817 @caterpillargirl @Survivetoalive @exuberantTriangle2562 @coraline23 @Ivorycat5573 @fearlessPear8268 @themainjane @SemicolonSurvivor @weare1 @weareall1 @Annaka1 @moonchild95 @summernight69 @warmheartedTurtle6662 @sheaintgotnoshoes @rationalWillow8882
I got to work an hour early today and I'm not sure it's possible to be more tired 😴
@BeeLeigh Ahh why so early? Hope you could have some coffee!
@rozie I'll try to spin a light-hearted personal yarn later. ATM I feel extremely stuck, overburdened by my inability to face the day ahead. Haven't heard back from my psychiatrist's office yet about rescheduling the appointment (which was supposed to have been today) they cancelled, which probably means that I should be proactive and call...the prospect of which I find terrifying at the moment.
Also have long-neglected household tasks to undertake, lest I risk incurring the wrath of the roommate (who is not a morning person, nor, it should be noted, all that wrathful -- my view is heavily distorted by my condition, as are my reactions -- I KNOW this and yet...). All of this has me blanket-forting and legit afraid to even leave my room. Breaking down my day into bite-sized portions feels like a daunting endeavour in and of itself.
Fear. Naked, abject fear of wretchedly mundane and benign things. Nothing seems to be working -- can't seem to find the self compassion to counter the seemingly all-consuming inner criticism today.
Trapped. Stuck. Only making things worse the longer I delay the inevitable.
Pass the torch, @TreesandWine?
Had a long reply typed out and of course I lost it. Tried doing things. Failed miserably because that is how I roll. Spilled dirty cat litter on basement floor, couldn't leave a message with my psychiatrist because the clinic nurse is out of office till tomorrow and had her voicemail set to not accept messages. In tears, feel useless. Can't even post properly, much less find compassion for myself. I just should have stayed stuck in my fort where it was safe.
Feel body shaking and freezing no words will come out I stare into space, heart racing lasting hours at a time. I cant tolerate being yelled at and loud noises, makes me jumpy and heart leaps out of chest. Butterflies and churning in tummy. Feel sense of dread unable to smile. My fear freezes me like during my long years of traumatic experiences occuring past my mid 20s. I get these same responses with noises and voices around me causing me to re live my past
@imustbemad
Yes this is what happens, and its so hard when as you say loud noises and voices trigger and take you back to the past. .. the responses you describe.We know what its like, we understand, we support each other. We're on a journey here to recovery and healing and believe this is possible.Hoping this for you too. 
One starry night a little stray puppy was born along with his brothers and sisters to a little stray dog.
Time passed and he opened his eyes and ears and stayed in his little hovel in the alley with his brothers and sisters. His mom made it as nice and safe and warm as she could. She often went away but always promised to come back. And she always did.
Time passed again and he was bored of the routine. He was tired of always staying at home and just waiting, waiting. There wasn't much room for everyone and he was curious to see what was beyond his bed, his home, his alley.
So he struck out to see just exactly what was out there. Before he knew what had happened a man and a woman picked him up. He never went home again.
The man and the woman walked here and walked there. He saw so many things, heard so many things, smelled so many things. Sometimes they ate or he would get some water. They slept under the stars.
One day he and the man and woman were walking through an alley. A man was taking out the trash. The man and woman gave him, the little stray, to the man taking out the trash.
He liked this new man. He gave him food and water and a soft place to sleep. After filling his little tummy he curled up and slept and slept. He hadn't realized he was so very tired.
At the end of the day the new man took him to a home with a woman and another dog and some cats. He was scared at first but soon gave them his best tricks and antics. They laughed at his jokes.
Now he lives there and always has food, water, a soft bed, toys in his toy box, and new brothers and sisters to play with. He loves his family very much and they love him. His travels have brought him to a place he knows is his true home.
He still spends time out in the starry nights. But it's good to know that just up the stairs is a warm kitchen with fresh water and that his bed and toys and the family he loves is waiting for him, to lay his head down and dream of tomorrow and all the adventures he will have.
@themainjane
Thank you for the lovely story Jane.. you tell it well!
@rozie
Thank you. 😊