Traumatic Experiences Community Daily Check-in Tuesday 15th May 2018
Hello lovely trauma family
Thought I would share with you today an incident that brought home to me the vaue of reframimg.Every mormig at daylight I plie the three dogs in to the car and we head up a nearby back country road.. very quiet and hardly ever a car. To get to the paddocks where they are free to run we have to walk down a stretch of metal road. The two older dogs are road savy and know to "wait'" if there is a vehicle.Young bub is only learning.. she is in training with "wait" and I have her on a long line. And because its early morning I can see the approach of any car lights. But the other morning I missed ths car lights and as we rounded the corner with bub flying out in front of me,there was the lights of a car. I called "wait" but she was excited , her herding instinct kicked in and she was behind the car. The driver stopped,we sorted it, and all was well. The next morning, new day, I could feel the anxiety.. what happens if a car comes again and I don't see it. So the usually enjoyable walk was clouded by my anxiety. Nothing happened, we were fine. This morning when we were in the paddock the thought came.. why don't I reframe this and call it "an opportunity for bub to practice her new skills" It was amazing how this changed my vew and my feelings about it. We did see a car coming and were able to calmly "wait" and let it pass by.
So a reframe can give another perspective, and also change how you feel about it. It can help you move when stuck or confused. You know how you can get in a vicious cycle of being sad or anxious and then hating oneself for getting like this again,and then saying something like "I'm so messed up." Suggest at this point it can help to slow down and press the pause button. Breathe Look at the thought as an outside observer. How can this be reframed.. going from passive to active and from negative to positive... can make such a difference.
Ancient wisdom says "You can't control what happens to you, but you can control how you react."
How is your day day going? How have you found reframing helpful? Is there something that you could reframe for yourself today. Or pop in to say hi! You are welcome here.. This is your space and a safe place. x
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@rozie Hi :) I've had a really great day today. Uni went by really fast and afterwards I had my first time donating blood. I wasn't able to donate as much blood as the others as I started to get dizzy and light-headed, but it still was five to seven minutes of donating blood. I'm proud of that and I hope they can use it to save someone's life. :)
@sincerePark336 thats amazing! You should definitely proud of yourself. You are may saving someone s life with your blood, thats so impressing and inspiring!
i wish you a lovely rest of the day!
@sincerePark336
Oh, donating blood is wonderful 😊 it's such a tiny thing to do, but it is so so urgently needed... Well done Park 😊
@rozie
Hi, I am trying not to hide.
I have therapy in about an hour. I am not looking forward to it at all. Have been crying all morning already.
I am looking forward to leaving tomorrow. I hope all these mixed emotions stay behind till I get back.
@MaschaV
Breathe in some English sea-breeze 😊 that helps clearing up your mind and blows your worries away... Have a wonderful trip 😊🇬🇧 wohoo!
@courteousNorth5140
I love beaches! I'll definetly will try 
Hey Rozie! Lovely thread as always
today i feel very grateful for literally everything. my loved ones, my life, my health, the community here..... so there is nothing to reframe for me today hehe. Its raining here and actually theres a thunderstorm, but since i planned to spend the day inside its no bother for me and i find it relaxing to look out of the window and seeing, hearing and smelling the rain (didnt we have a check in about thunderstorms just recently? xD) How are you feeling today Rozie? Did you have a good start of the week?
Wishing all of you a lovely day and take care everyone!
@Hope3729
Oh Hope.so good to hear of the gratitude you're feeling for everything!.. no refarme necessarry.Thanks, I'm doing well and enjoying some sunny late autumn days, though they say there's a change coming. Love the rain too, especially the sound on the roof at night. Enjoy your day! x
Good morning, Rozie and friends!
I'm trying to reframe some thoughts this morning as I'm getting very frustrated with my commute. It's an hour and a half each way and I work ten-hour days, not only that but there's been track maintenance so my train home has been 30 minutes to an hour late every evening. So by the time I get off the train in the evening and go home, I only have 7.5 hours to wind down, eat dinner, shower and sleep before I have to get up and get ready for work again. Also, being around strangers is one of my anxiety triggers and there are always a ton of people on public transit, some of them rather sketchy. Also my commute costs $10 a day out of my own pocket. I've considered just sleeping under my desk a couple nights a week and spending the money on dinner instead.
I've been reminding myself that it's not that bad. I have a secure, decent-paying job with good benefits and coworkers who genuinely care about me. Because I work long days, I only have to work four days most weeks. Three hours a day on a bus and/or train means I can catch up on my reading. As far as the anxiety goes...well, I'll just have to keep on my deep breathing and remember that I'm not actually in any danger. And if anyone oversteps and makes me feel really unsafe, I can scream very loudly. 
@ZebraGirl13
Oh wow, your days sound exhausting like hell 😳 but it's great how you're able to see the positives about it, like using your time on the train for reading, seeing the positives about your job 😊 oh and being able to scream very loudly is an awesome talent! Always use your screams and never let anybody shut you up 😊 hope you're having a good day!
Hey rozie and rest of the trauma family...
Ok, so reframing.... Good topic and sth we probably should all try more often... I gues we often get stuck with our negative thoughts, negative experiences, our fears and insecurities... I think it's about recognizing if there is a real danger or if we are just being anxious cause of a negative experience... And well, of course, the world is full of real dangers, we're living in a crazy world, but it's more than likely nothing will happen at all...
Well, I am hiding inside as much as possible, cause of my bad experiences, because of my bad memories, but that keeps me from living my life, doing the things I like to do... So I'm trying to reframe my bad memories, trying to make new good memories... Like, well, I can't go to the park like I used to, but I love it there, it's a calm island inside of all the chaos around and I need that, I need the green, the trees, the meadows, so I'm taking baby steps, trying to go there whenever I feel strong enough to face it, breathe in the air for a bit, and surprisingly, nothing bad happens.... And I guess every one of us has such a thing, sth what's like the park for me... But with baby steps and lots of patience it is possible to build new memories, better ones, to convince our body and mind there is no reason for reacting with anxiety and panic... It takes time, but we'll get there 😊
Hope you all have a wonderful day 💕
@courteousNorth5140
I agree ts about recognizing if there is a real danger or whether its a playback from the past.. a distorted message. Sounds like the green, the trees the meadows are so vital to you.. being in nature is so restorative. Want to encourage you to keep takiing those baby steps.. one step at a time, slowly and gradually and you will get there. We're here alongside you all the way. x
How is your day going? My day is going okay. Woke up, went to work, worked until lunch, ate lunch, worked until it was time to stop, took the scenic route home, now I'm just chilling until it's time to do the next thing. Sounds mundane I know but this is exactly the sort of day I need more of in my life. No negative excitement (that would mean flashbacks) no super positive excitement (Like a sugar rush and then waiting for the crash) Just in the middle with no second-guessing anything.
How have you found reframing helpful? I haven't really ever heard of reframing before...
Is there something that you could reframe for yourself today? Nothing comes to mind but perhaps it will once I've had more time to digest this new idea.
*safe hugs* everybody, sorry I cant really focus but just wanted to say hey!!!!
Hi,
I not doing good!!
My rabbit died on Sunday morning!!
@GuardianAngel77
Aw , im so sorry to hear that, the death of a pet can be so hard <3
@indigoBeing9907
Thank you very!! 😊😊😊😊!!
@rozie
Thats a great example of reframing thoughts and taking a negative and making it as a pisitive and learning opportunity. So glad your dog is safe ❤🐕
I just thought if a time I reframed my thoughts. It was after a really bad break up and I was going through a very tough time and mourning the loss of a future with that person and an end to our plans of building a life together.
Then I strated seeing it as positive, it was good we broke up because it gave me the opportunity to try and find someone who was right for me._sorry if thats not exactly what reframing is but thats the best example I could think of :)
