"Better to Forgive"

I've always disliked the notion of people saying that holding a grudge or never forgiving someone makes you a bad person. That you're holding onto poison and expecting the other person to die from it.

There are people in this world who don't deserve forgiveness.

There are people who have done harm to me that I can't forgive. Even if it's my own family.

And I don't want to forgive them.

I shouldn't have to.

I've been emotionally abused. My grandmother physically imprisoned me in my own home for several weeks when I was younger for experimenting with another girl making me permanently ashamed of sexuality and having sexual desire. She told my mom that I was "ruined." She drove me to my first mental breakdown by caring more about what a good reflection on her parenting I was than by the stress having to be flawless put on me. Both of my parents smoked heavily and even after 5 years of being away from home I catch colds like its a fashion trend. For a lot of it, my mom stood by and let it happen. Did nothing to stop it. Only in small ways did she try and help me or try and make it better but she would never truly stand up to her mother. And she's now in her 40s.

I will never be able to forgive my grandmother for what I was put through.

And no one should "have" to forgive their abuser to be considered a good person. No one would look at my girlfriend and tell her to forgive the man who sexually abused her and trained her to be his pet.

So why should emotional torment be any different.