Childhood abuse
Looking for words of wisdom and help, if there's anyone online.
I am 25 years old and lives with my mom becusse of covid. Since I was a child, i was subjected to physical and emotional abuse by my mother but then she stopped physically hurting me when i reached my teen age years. Now, i am living at her house and mom is ptettymuch the same. nagging. Angry outburst. And would often verbally attack me. When I call her out, shed often make it about her self and tells me that she's old, shes 65, and pretty much sensitive. Basically implying that I have to rollwith the methaporical punches and be sensitivr around her. But I am not getting anything in return. I cannot argue back otherwise I am making my mom hurt and children arent supposed to do that. A while ago, right off the bat after I woke up I was again berrated for the smallest reason and I just dont know how to process this emotions. I feel useless. I feel tired. I dont know how to manage my emotions in the first place so heres to hoping someone would give me advice.
Wow, are you me? I'm also dealing with this. I'm a 26 year old female - my mom used to beat me severely, manipulated me to hate my father, tell relatives and neighbours made-up stories about me so they see me in a negative light, and ridiculed my appearance, personality, and skills. I don't have to deal with the physical abuse anymore, but I still have to deal with the metaphorical punches. I'm also in the process of figuring it out so I can't give you a sure-fire way of solving this, unfortunately.
What I do know is this - my mom acts this way because she was severely abused during both her childhood and adult life too. When I consider this, it becomes clear that she treats me better than how her mother treated her. She never got a chance to heal. Empathizing with her like this has helped me. Therapy didn't really help her (maybe it just wasn't the right therapist), but I've found that some changes I encouraged her to make in her routine really helped. It has helped her become more grounded and not be so angry all the time. She still nags and criticizes me though, and when it happens I try my best to be calm and point out objectively that what she said isn't right. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. She has to deal with a lifetime of trauma, so it'll take a long time.. even longer without therapy.
I don't know what your situation's exactly like, but I hope what I said is helpful. You are not alone and it's not going to be this way forever. Wish you all the best.