Hypocrite
I work for a domestic violence organization and my boyfriend is controlling and manipulating me. A few times he's thrown things and he gets very angry with me. I know all of these are red flags of abuse, yet I stay. I feel like such a hypocrite when I counsel women and give them the advice I myself should follow, but I just keep thinking "Things will get better"... which is a typical and normal response for someone in my situation. He needs help for his childhood trauma. He won't seek it, and I won't give him an ultimatum because I want to be with him and I'm too scared that he will use it as a reason to break up with me. I love this man. He claims to love me, and most of the time that's how he acts. I'm just so lost. How did my life get so screwed up?
Your only human to stay, if you love someone your willing to work with them on all issues, including what sounds like some anger problems. Working on his childhood issues, and his anger w/professional help would be the best thing for him and the relationship. Maybe working on getting him to try that w/o being too pushy about would be the best thing. I wish you the best of luck
I'm sorry that ur boyfriends mistreating u u don't deserve that ur a beautiful and kind soul you should seek help from someone trusted and ultimatum sounds like a good idea just make sure ur safe and still taking care of u even if he takes care of u too don't ever deal with abuse please it won't get better
It isn't your fault. You don't deserve abuse of any kind. You aren't asking for it or allowing it. You are practicing empathy and love which are human traits. People who abuse and don't seek help for themselves, they don't change. They repeat a pattern of abuse over and over. It is a roller coaster of everything being perfect and then everything going back to bad, over and over. It is a very confusing thing to endure. You aren't a hypocrite, you are a survivor. There is a book I'd like to recommend to you that really helped me. The title is "Psychopathfree" by Peace. Who, incidentally, is the founder of a wonderful web community by the same title as the book. *Big Hugs* You are not alone.
Don't beat yourself up. I've been where you are. Ultimately you have to decide what you think is best for yourself. I stuck around my ex for 2 1/2 years being abused and disrespected in every way. It took him beating me with the intent to kill me for me to get out of there. I decided any love he had for me wasn't worth that anymore.