I need a different point of view
Hi, I'm not new here and I've been sharing my story on a side of here, but I'll do a summary.
My older brother sexualsexually assaulted me 2 times when I was a child. That made me have depression and anxiety, possibly ptsd I guess.
I'm currently still a minor (17), I'll be 18 in a few months.
My mom (who knows bout that situation) is on the side of my brother, and even threaten me to leave the house I ever tell about it to my dad.
Since quarantine, I've been having to see him more often, which increased my panic attacks and anxiety attacks. I'm getting tired of the secret, I'm getting tired of being the only person suffering.
I'm thinking of telling everything to my dad, he loves me, but my mom kept telling me that he's not going to believe me or stuff, it messed me up.
should I wait until be 18? I don't know what is going to happen if I tell him, my anxiety it's worse and I feel like my family would be shattered, nothing is going to be normal, or that my parents could get divorced or something, that I'll have the leave my house... etc
I just need some support.
@BlueGxrl3
Hello, I am so sorry that this has happened to you and that your mother has put this kind of issue to be kept quite. You are in a rather sticky situation. My question would have to be what is your gut telling you to do? Can you go to someone else that you trust and get them to help you as well as keep you safe? It is not right for your mother to put this on your back she needs to step up to her mother's role and take responsible action toward your brother. Some times in order to stay safe you might have to go outside of the family dynamics to get the help you need.
Please stay safe, and do what feels right for you and not your mother.
@BubblegumPuppy I don't actually know what to do. As you said, I'm trapped in the situation.
My dad doesn't know but I have a feeling that he will believe and support me, it's just that we have so many difficulties in my family right now, that I don't wanna put another one.
I've been thinking on waiting to be 18 and that things in my house get calm so I can tell my dad. But I don't really know, I have a fear that it will ruin my family or that it's going to separate us :(
@BlueGxrl3
I thought I would stop by and check on you. I hope all is well. I love the words that @nonethewiser gave you they are so true.I have dealt with sexual incest and rape. I kept quiet for way too long. I did not get help or feel safe enough to tell anyone but my mom and she abandoned me and left me with my dad for him to have full access to me. Now my life is so messed up and I am old still suffering. The sooner you can get to tell someone and get therapy it will torment you. It is not your fault and no matter what happens in the family dynamics it is not your fault.