Now A Survivor
Chexxmixx2120
September 9th, 2018
Where do I begin? May 13, 2011 changed my life in many ways I have yet to understand. I met my ex & he was everything a woman wants..until he had his claws in me. For 5 years I endured his abuse, mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially. I didnt know there was a way out, that people existed to help others in a DV situation. After my great - grandmother passed in September of ‘16, I made the decision to get out. I had no idea how I was gonna survive or if I even could. I knew I had to try though, because jail time sounded better than another day with him. So on my birthday, I gave myself the greatest gift to this day...my freedom back. This October will be 2 years free, and as I lay here and look back I reflect on what all I have accomplished. On the flip, I think of the battles I still fight daily because of his crap. My trust is zero, Im scared to make friends in fear that theyll leave, someone moves too fast I jump, thats just a few. I never sought professional help after the split, which I should, but I cant bring myself to share the things I need to discuss. I now have anxiety, which I never had before, and its a daily struggle. I figured it may be easier to talk to those who have been in similar situations and can relate to what I am still struggling with. Thanks for listening ❤️
DavidEss
September 10th, 2018
Sounds like you have had a really rough time, and have done very well to get away.
To avoid repeating the past, it might be helpful for you to have a look at narcissism. It might explain a lot of your ex's behaviours, and also give you some insight into how he got his claws into you.
There is a lovely youtube video on "the four types of narcissism," and then you could listen to "the signs you are dating a narcissist."
Of course we are all somewhere on what we might call the narcissistic spectrum, but I'd be interested to hear if anything clicks for you.