Relationship tanking
I'll try to make this brief. I was the victim of child molestation by a male relative (I'm a female). This relative has since been locked up in federal prison for child molestation/pornography. But I still suffer PTSD from the trauma of it all. I'm talking to a therapist about it now, but so far it's only getting worse, not better. And now my relationship with my boyfriend is suffering because of it. I get triggered easier all the time. It's terrifying. Hard to prevent, as it can happen any time, anywhere, and with anyone.
Trying to figure out how to help my bf understand what my triggers are and when to back off (I trigger by something as simple as a quick tickle.)
@courteousTree1628 It's horrifying that you went through that, and you have my condolescences. I personally am glad that he's under arrest for molestation, but unfortunately, it is true that victims don't come out of it mentally unscathed. I'm hoping that you can manage to overcome this problem without sacrificing your relationship - teaching your bf what your triggers are is a good place to start. Good luck!
@OutdatedOatmeal Thank you. I hate even talking about it with anyone, because it sends me right back to that place mentally. Finally got the strength to talk it out with my therapist (who I see for other issues). She gave me some reading on PTSD and an assignment to write a letter to my uncle expressing my hurt and hatred. I did it. So much hatred just poured out of me onto that paper. I felt so much relief just getting it off my chest. I told him in no uncertain terms that he has controlled my life and ruined relationships for too many years and that stops now. I'm 100% taking control back over my life. Things have improved with my bf since then. I still get triggered now and again, but not nearly as often as I used to. (Oh, and that letter? I didn't actually send it to him - it was more of just a release.)
@courteousTree1628 I'm glad you found release from it. Writing a letter like that(and, of course, not sending it) can be a great way to let out pent-up frustrations, from what I've been told. I hope you and your bf can lead a happier life together in the near future. Recovering from past trauma, especially one in this scale, is far from easy, but isn't impossible. I believe in you!
@courteousTree1628 Healing from what youve been through must be a long and hard journey, but it seems youre doing a great job. Its not an easy way and you are so brave. Im happy to read you are doing well and on the way to feel better.
Seems like your bf is concerned and compromised with your relationship, I think is very important having him by your side, supporting and helping you.
Keep going, please!
