Reliving my past abuse (Trigger warning!!)

Every day as it gets closer to how I was abused a year ago in the Spring I can't help but not control my mind. Sometimes I get flashbacks of what had happened to me whether it was the drugs he let me take, the abuse he had put me through, the words he told me every day I woke up next to him or every night I had to sleep next to him, or the rape and sexual abuse I had to go through almost every day till I left. Even though I have a good life it still hurts. Some people tell me I just need to grow up, let go, and heal from the things that haunt me but it's hard when it is forever with you. I have love and support all around me, but nobody understands which makes it a little harder to heal or have someone talk me down. I hope that someone out there can relate to me maybe we can help each other feel less alone.