Struggling

I think I posted something a really long time ago, but lost it.. so here it is again... this kind of ties a lot of things and might be long...

I'm 17 and have had a lot of horrible things happen in my life. From my best friend taking her life right in front of me, to car accidents, to house fires, to my parents filing for divorce and splitting my entire family apart, to being bullied until I was forced to drop out of high school (or possibly kill myself) last year. Anything and everything bad has probably happened to me. But nothing can even come close to January 21st of this year, my life took a terrifying turn (again). The night before, my ex boyfriend and I got into a huge fight that ended with police being called and separating us. A lot of words were exchanged and he tried to come after me again before a cop got him. The next day, my sister and I were walking to the store when I noticed something behind me and didn't really think about it too much. I turned around and got thrown to the ground, hitting my head on the concrete sidewalk. The next thing I knew, I was being beaten by him and a bunch of his thug friends with baseball bats and other weapons. Then I had a semi-auto shotgun aimed directly at my head, less than a foot away. My ex told my sister that if she even dared to try to save me, he'd blow my head off. She ran and called the police and paramedics as I was unconscious (still being hit by a lot of objects). I was flown by helicopter to the hospital and woke up about an hour later in the Intensive Care Unit. I have 21 broken bones, had a concussion, and spent 6 months in the hospital. My ex then took his life two days after because he didn't want to go to jail. He was such a psychotic coward and I hated him but he forced me to date him. I don't understand why people choose to do awful things to others. My sister and parents no longer care about me. I was kicked out of the house a week before my boyfriend assaulted me. My parents never cared about me. They always left me out of things, never let me do anything, and were strict over every little thing I could do. They also abused me when I was little. I was also diagnosed with PTSD.

Things have only gotten worse from there...