Transferrance

I had a severely abusive childhood and have CPTSD MDD and anxiety. I have learned in therapy Transferrance is when an abuse victim transfers their unresolved relationship with their abuser(my father) onto another person in order to redo the relationship correctly. It happens sometimes in Dr /patient: situations, or therapist/ patient or coach /Athlete,etc. Usually it's a person who has a power type position over the victim. Has anyone here dealt with this? Why do I feel so much guilt and shame and I believe it was my fault in some way, feels like I participated in some way. I feel duped into such a twisted situation. The only person who understands this situation is my therapist. I don't share this mess with anyone else. It too scary to share and I'm terrified of being judged and blamed and lose the ones I care so much for. How to forgive myself for such a big twisted screw up? ABB