my story
I was adopted at birth by a single woman living with her mother. things were good then she adopted my sister when I was 4 and my sister was 3. after a while my mom stopped interacting with us. she became verbally abusive and ordered us around like slaves. we were told that we weren't allowed to make mistakes only she was. she was extremely judge mental and had to be right all the time. she was never there for us emotionally. she would show her love by buying us things, things we didn't even want. then she would blame us for her financial issues. she would throw our things away and take our money that we got as gifts. she made it very hard for me to trust people emotionally. she also made it hard for me to express myself. we were never allowed to say how we felt. I just wanted someone to talk to and trust. also at a young age I found out my biological mother didn't want me. how true it is I'm not sure but I do want to find her. I sister received the blessing of finding her family and she lives with them now. I'm kind of jealous because I always talked about finding my mom and she never did and the opportunity came for her and not yet for me.
high school was when I really opened up. I went to an all girls school and loved it. it brought me out of my shell and I really felt comfortable. after high school I went to a community college and graduated. i was slowly going back into my shell because I felt I lost all my friends. then in 2012 I met Clinton. he got me into smoking weed and we smoked together. throughout the relationship I noticed his terrible behavior. when her didn't have weed he was rude, anxious, standoffish, and asshole, boring. I hated it! so I gave in and gave him money so he could smoke and become the him I met. later realizing the guy I met was under the influence of a drug. this became a cycle. I soon would overdraft on my bank account to give him money and put myself in a financial hole. til his day we are still together and I can't take it. he's such an asshole, I'm in a financial mess, I hate the way he talks to me and I just don't want it anymore but I'm afraid to leave because I feel he needs me, he had no one and his dad could pass any day now.
in the midst of this relationship however we had our son. he is my everything and u thank God for him. he means the world to me and I regret nothing about him! while j was pregnant he wasn't there for me emotionally. he didn't seem to care about the pregnancy and how I felt, he cared more about how he felt and how I made him feel and why I'm doing wrong in the relationship. he stressed me and made me cry constantly.i felt alone in my pregnancy. I ended up enrolling in a 4 year university to get my bachelors in early childhood edu. I was scheduled to be induced because I didn't want to miss classes. during my induction my sons heart rate dropped significantly and I had to have an emergency c-section. I was soar because I didn't want one but at the same time I just wanted my baby. after I left the hospital about 2 weeks later my incision opened up. this resulted in me having to unenroll from college and recover. I had to have my incision painfully packed with gauze for 8 weeks. it was awful! it hurt so bad and it set me back, I was so depressed. then I received a call about a job interview to work at a daycare center on an army post. I got the position and have been there for a year now. I love it, it's my dream job. I have always loved children and wanted to work with them. however now they has been an hour cut and my financiers are suffering :/
Wonderful how u can Give Love That you never seemed to receive
