‘I will always be with you, don

I will always be with you, don't worry, my mother said.

In february 2014 , my mother was diagnosed with pneumonia, by summer that year she was admitted,

by september she was dead.

I was given the news in an ice cream shop, out of all places,

tears rolling down my cheeks, just like they did when heavy rain hits the roof, splashing like all my hopes for ​her​ to recover.

I will always be with you, don't worry, my mother said.

October that year I miss a month of school for the funeral, Having all eyes on me and my sister,

Trying to hold my tears as I say,

I dont want to go to her funeral.

I will always be with you, don't worry, my mother said.

My head feels light as I wipe my tears, As i go back to school,

A stack of empathy cards waiting for me, All saying ​sorry​.

I will always be with you, don't worry, my mother said.

A feeling of rage comes up inside me,

Like a bomb,

As people keep asking,

r u ok? Im so sorry, I know how you feel, No,​ u do not know how i feel

I will always be with you, don't worry, my mother said.

They say ik how u feel

U dont have a clue how it feels, Ur just trying to be nice,

U are straight up lying.

I will always be with you, don't worry my mother said

Meeting my future stepmom, Imagining a life with her, Trying to smile

I will always be with you, don't worry, my mother said

Faking a smile,

At my stepmothers wedding

I just can't be happy

How can I not be okay with my ​step​ mom?

I will always be with you , don't worry

The word mother activates my tears, Like the power button activates a phone, Again, tears rolling down my cheeks. Thinking that this is all just a nightmare.

I will always be with you, don't worry, my mother said,

They ask r u ok?

I say I want to be alone politely,

But in my head i want to shout:

Leave me alone, because if u dont,

I w​ ill​ take my anger on u like a punch bag.

I will always be with you...

I hate love, and flowers. They have one thing in common:it is beautiful, and you are greatful for ot, then it rots away and disappoints you.

I will always be with you, dont worry, my mother said,

Now i really question it,

Is she really always with me? No, she is not,

She would have seen the sleepless nights, I spent crying my heart out

She will not ever be with me again, Not since 12th of september, 2014.