Chronic dissociation
Hi, would someone know how to cope with chronic dissociation? Almost all my life I'm in this weird fog. I feel disconnected from my body every day. There were situations where I didn't dissociate, but these situations are rare.
I suffer from osdd/did (in our country they don't differentiate between these two) and i so don't want to face the inner experience. I'm afraid of what i might find. I don't remember big chunks of my life so I'm afraid i find some new trauma. I already found out what happened to me in my early years of life, and i was devastated. Little alter revealed it to me. It was horrifying. I don't ever want to experience something like that again. Shortly after this reveal of trauma i TW attempted suicide.
I was miserable. I was experiencing flashbacks multiple times a day. So i don't want to ever feel like that.
I know i have to face it. But is there some gentle way?
Thank you for your attention 💗
@Allania Facing trauma with DID takes time, you have to do things slowly. With building safety, developing coping skills, gradually processing traumatic memories, and fostering integration A trauma-informed therapist who understands the complexity of internal parts and dissociation can help but they can be hard to find.
@mytwistedsoul
Thank you for your reply, I'll look at the materials you gave me. 😊
@Allania You're welcome
This was a great answer and very thoughtful
@energeticPal50 Thank you! 😊
@Allania I was going through something like that a couple years ago. No DID, but I definitely disassociated frequently. Not sure how different it would be, but hopefully this can help:
my disassociation was linked to certain triggers. Taking the time while I’m “outside” to 1. Realize that I’m disassociating 2. Try to get to a safer-feeling place helped me spend a little bit of my good time afterwards identifying the triggers.
Dealing with whatever makes those triggers, triggering can sometimes help, but you have to know what it is first.
I’ve also heard that EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) is a good kind of therapy when talking about trauma normally could trigger you.
Hope it gets better soon ❤️🩹 take care!
Are you looking to cope with the dissociation and face the trauma?
Or are you looking for help coping with the dissociation//the weird fog and disconnect?
Personally, I found writing /journaling to be helpful. Also to have an experienced therapist to process this with is important. I would journal what I could remember, involving my trauma, and give it to my therapist to read at the beginning of sessions. I didn’t want to see his face/see him react to what I wrote, was ashamed, and scared of feeling judged, so I would sit outside while he read it. Then he would gently discuss it with me… but never made me say or talk about anything I was uncomfortable with, and he was aware of signs if I were to start dissociating, and we planned for that. The five senses (54321), changing the subject to something fun and random, something to squeeze/hold with a texture, planting my feet on the ground, or he’d have something cold in his mini fridge in his office. Or having me recall something like what I ate this morning or how the drive was. But, this didn’t always work, and so he also knew what to do if I dissociated and switched. He knew how to handle that. I know sometimes a little would come out, and he would play a game with her—I think connect 4. Or would color together. And if I switched, he’d have little rewards or encouragements to have them focus on letting me come back. Like a sticker… and if I was dissociated as a little, the grounding techniques were usually to focus on, for example, a tattoo on my arm, or a facial piercing, because little kids don’t have those.. which usually enough to get me to come back…. Point is: I didn’t talk about the trauma, not really, I wrote about it, and then we would gently approach it, and if when it was too much and I’d dissociate, we had a plan for if that were to happen… It’s important to have someone you can trust and someone who knows how best to help you.
Knowing when to stop… that’s also important. Sometimes I’d want to keep going but my therapist knew I wasn’t in the right space anymore. For example, I wasn’t permitted in a group therapy for trauma a few times because I was in a headspace where I was already disconnected and more likely to dissociate. EMDR was also not an option for me because it involved directly talking about it AND the eye movements can be “auto-hypnotic”, which is something people with DID like us are extremely good at doing.
But coping with dissociation, especially chronic.. man, I wish I knew the answer. What helps me is hot or cold stuff, like ice cubes, when I have that weird fog /disconnect.. to help me reconnect with my body. A frozen orange is my favorite. But I’m kind of in the same boat as you. I’m sorry.
Also: sometimes I remember things I forgot. And I get really scared and freaked out. I don’t really know how to cope with that because most therapists and professionals don’t really get it. They understand that it’s scary to remember, maybe, but it’s more than that. It’s the what ifs, what else do not remember, that kind of stuff. It’s scary.
I wish you luck though. Trust yourself and your feelings. Don’t push yourself. You don’t remember for a reason, and that’s okay to not remember.
You are not alone I have DPDR, a dissociative disorder. It’s hard. I want to make it through this together
You are not alone I have DPDR, a dissociative disorder. It’s hard. I want to make it through this together
