DID and Privacy
I dont know about anyone else on this platform but I have been diagnoised with dissociative identity disorder and as more time goes on i have realised that i have a major problem with traumadumping and keeping certain topics private, its almost like im compelled to tell everyone every single thing about me because I have no sense of what privacy is. has anyone else experienced this or something similar? what helps you?
@arcad3docket I think this is a challenge for a lot of people. Sometimes we do it to test if someone is a safe person. Sometimes we desperately want to be seen and validated, especially if we've had to be silent for so long. Telling someone what happened can be an attempt to prove to ourselves that the abuse really did happen.
Thank you, I appreciate it. I definitely feel compulsive about oversharing.
@arcad3docket
I find boundaries to be really difficult when managing that stuff is so much of a part of your lived experience... when I find someone who says they want to be supportive or who wants to be friends and get to know me, it can be really difficult to figure out what the difference is between getting a "normal" level of support and trauma dumping about what I'm struggling with at the moment.
I mostly keep the heavy discussions about what I'm struggling with isolated to specialized support communities where people are prepared to hear about that stuff and there is moderation that keeps unsafe people away. If it's someone I've been communicating with one-on-one, I usually focus more on how it's affecting me and what I'm thinking about it or how it makes me feel rather than sharing the content itself. When I've been chatting with someone long enough that I'm pretty sure they're not creepy and will respect my boundaries, I might tell them when I need to share something I've been struggling with and ask if they're okay with hearing about traumatic events from my past.
It can be really helpful and validating to be heard and accepted. To have someone respond with compassion and not judge me the way I've judged myself. But it's definitely something that needs a lot of communication and common ground before talking about the more difficult parts.
I guess we can't edit posts on this platform?
The other thing I wanted to mention was about setting boundaries and noticing red flags. People asking if I "liked" it is the biggest one, or asking for detailed descriptions about what it felt like or about my physical appearance. Those are almost always from creepy people. Sometimes I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and say I don't want to talk about that, but they almost always ignore that boundary and keep asking and I will block and report them when that happens.
I know that some people have very strong opinions about using AI, but if you're not sure about whether someone is being supportive or manipulative/creepy, then copying the chat history into an AI and asking it if there are any red flags can be really helpful. Along with asking it to explain the red flags and point out what to look for in similar conversations.
I am definitely going to look into supporg groups! I like the idea about using AI, I appreciate it.