De profundis clamo ad te domine.

This is the narration of a vivid recollection from my early years, at either age four or five years old, I remember that on one sunny afternoon, I was lying on the backseats of my father's car, vulnerably and confusedly aching with discomfort, pain, and profound disorientation, either due to an infection or because of the weight of anxiety, while my parents were sitting on the front seats, unaware of the storm brewing within me.

My parents engaged in a prolonged and heated exchange, their voices clashing and intertwining as they sparred over my condition. I recall my mother, at one point, remarking to my father that my inability to eat was a natural consequence of my weakened state.

In that poignant moment, my emotions became entangled in a web of bitterness and confusion. The fervent desire arose within me for my parents to bridge their divide and unite as a calm and unconditionally loving couple. I yearned for them to approach the delicate matter of my health with unwavering compassion, calm, keen intellect, and profound understanding.

Alas, the reality fell short of my aspirations. Frustration seized hold of me, as I grappled with the realization that their unity, adequacy, empathy, tranquility, reason, and rationality remained elusive. Anxiety surged within me because of their inadequacies, weaknesses, and ignorance. Anger swelled within, fueled by their lack of awareness regarding the profound psychological and emotional impact their disputes inflicted upon me, particularly during such vulnerable moments. Tragically, this recollection foreshadowed a tapestry of either similar or even worse instances awaiting me on my tumultuous journey.