Feel stuck

I’m 38 and also struggle with relationships. Apart from a couple of good friends my main support are my parents and although I don’t live with them I rely on them for help and advice. I recently asked my mum if she would view a house with me, I’m thinking of moving locally to somewhere with a garden as I’d like the outside space and she’s refused to help me as when I’ve moved before and she helped I didn’t have a very happy experience. No reflection on her I just didn’t end up liking where I lived. When I was ill some years later I admitted I only moved there because she was so keen on it for me which I shouldn’t have obviously!! She’s not speaking to me at the moment as she’s upset I’m considering moving which has really triggered my abandonment wounds. Where I’m moving doesn’t affect my parents at all it’s literally the same distance from them. Ever since my traumas happened I feel like I’ve remained completely stuck, I suppose part of me feels that if I choose better for myself maybe I’ll feel better? Or is that being naive? I wish I had someone to talk to about this but my friends don’t understand