First time poster

I've gone through a lot of things, I'm still living through a lot right now, I can't even sleep at night, I rely on energy drinks and carbs to help me survive, I don't remember the last time I had a home cooked meal, everything I eat is fast food, freezer, or canned. I have pets I love with my whole heart but I can't find the energy to get up, and insted of getting help I'm yelled at for not doing my responsibilities and my pets are threatened to be taken away and going to New homes.

I know this is for trauma, so here I go, there will be sensitive topics.

My dad is an alcoholic, I haven't seen him in four years now, a long with my baby sister. My dad got drunk when I was a kid and had beaten one of my dogs so badly her eye was split open. We had to put her down.

There was a hole in the bathroom door of our house, my dad had punched it there. I have two older siblings and two little siblings, I am the middle child.

I have been called a heartless monster my whole life because I make jokes or avoid grief all together. I never cry until from physical pain.

I have been SA by men, pinning me to Walls or touching me in ways I didn't like, men have stalked me and have foll me into my car, trying to ask me out or follow me home or have directly asked me where I lived.

My home is a mess, because of my depression and lack of motivation, I can't bring myself to do anything, I'm called lazy and the fact I'm overweight doesn't help. I cant bring myself to eat in public. I eat best when I eat alone.

Theres a lot more, a whole lot more, but I think this is enough. Thanks for reading my dump, love you guys and I hope you all get the help you need 💛