Hi happy to share

8 don't if 8 can talk about this freely but I need to so I am going to spelt all

I am 18 and I am still struggling from a all the drama I have been in me and my mom have a bad relationship and my dad aren't so good she used to favorite my sister I am the eldest so I have to be more kind to not do enything wrong becouse I 8f I did wrong she will do so every time my sisters do wrong who get punished me every time but I wasn't my biggest people my being a teenager there's a big tension between me and my mom she start to make me do the chores and I remember winning in a school competition and she said you look ugly in the picture and that time I refused to wash the ditches I told her I just 9ne year older than my sister why should do more than her and I lt was my third year since I started to help with the house so of course she beat me my whole face was hurt I couldn't get out for weak because of it my dad was at work when he saw my face he told to tell him what happened and I told him he said it s your fault I don't know how you would do it but you need to abolgise for your mom and I obligised and she didn't accept it so I was a ones in my room i couldn't sleep my whole face was full pain and from then every time 8 say something she beat me threatening me that she won't let me finish my education that if I think 8 got any power I am wrong she can end me I remember my birthday was In Wednesdays so I said to My best friends to come I told her it snot a Perty and I am gone to clean every thing they 9nly would stay for hour I cleand every thing in the house even under beds and the girls came and bought a present she didn't like it so she return it to the store Whan she came home she fought with me and she beat me again it was reapeted so I didn't care this much the next day I couldn't go out and I had class so I went Whan I come home she came to me and said you era not going to complate you education and she star to cut the books my dad came he took the books and said I paid for this you not missing them then he came to me and told me to change my clothes I changed and then he told me to set and he slapped on my face I don't remember much but I remember he said if you think this humilting I can show what is really humiliating I can humiliate you more and my mom saying stop slap her 8n her face It get nump beat anywhere else and 8 don't remember he bested me for how long but 8 knew that I was alone and nothing could help me I was only 15 he take me to the city his apartment was nasty I cleaned it and when we getting back home he told me to oblygize to her and he doesn't want to be bothered by me again I used to have athe highest mark my friends my teachers loved but none of them loved at home I got to high school I remember my threatening me every day I f wasn't good girl she won't let me finish so 8 stopped go to school I told her 8 am just doing what you ve said it all has no meaning to me and then she start to talk to me like I was humne but I have lost my self I was broken and nothing could help me 8 hated that I wake up every day and having to live I decided to suicide but I couldn't do it that was after 9ne 9f the last fightes I was 16 then 8 hated them and their relationship they both used to say *** in eash other back and 8 couldn't study I got bad marks lost confidence and trust but I knew that I can't day so 8 have to live and I am trying for me cause it s not fault catching the smallest thing make me feel safe every thing have changed now even them they don't have power on me anymore and I am not going to allow them to harm me again I hope that 8 can heal myself and help me to have a beeter live