I just wanted to vent...

Hello everyone. I’m sorry if this isn’t the right place for this or if I’m bothering anyone. I honestly don’t know what else to do anymore. I came across this community and it seemed like a safe place... I’m going through the darkest moment of my entire life, and I just needed to let this out to real human beings. I promise I won’t take up much of your time. I just need to feel like I’m not completely alone in this world today...

The truth is, I’m still in complete shock. A few days ago, I came home early to surprise my wife and my children, and I found her in our own bed with another man. When I confronted her, she didn’t even flinch. She told me she had grown tired of this life with me, packed her things, took all the cash we had saved to pay this month’s rent and the payment for our immigration lawyer, and left to live with him.

Overnight, she left me responsible for our two young children, without a single penny and with the house completely empty. I lost my job because I mentally broke down, and because I have no one to help me take care of the kids while I go to work. I have no family, no friends I can turn to for help, and I have nothing left to hold on to...

I’ve spent the entire day walking around the streets looking for a job, but I haven’t had any luck. I just divided the last bit of food I had between my two children. One of them just fell asleep crying beside me because he’s still hungry, and I literally have nothing left in the refrigerator and not a single cent in my pocket.

I don’t care about going hungry for however many days it takes, but hearing my child cry from stomach pain because I have absolutely nothing to give him is destroying me from the inside. It tears my soul apart. I feel like I have completely failed my children as a father. I feel utterly helpless, and I don’t know how I’m going to look them in the eyes tomorrow when they wake up...

Emotionally, I am completely broken, but I swear, at this point, it’s not even because of what she did to me. If she chose to leave with another man and throw away all the years we spent together in this country, may life forgive her. I’ll find a way to swallow my pride and heal from that wound later...

What is killing me inside, what is tearing me apart into a thousand pieces every minute, is seeing my two children pay the price for the decisions of an adult. Seeing them sleeping on the floor, cold, asking me over and over when their mother is coming home or why they didn’t eat today... That is what is eating me alive.

I don’t care about going hungry. I can survive for days on nothing but water if I have to. But hearing the pain in my little child’s stomach and not having a single dollar in my pocket to buy him a gallon of milk... I feel like my chest is going to explode. I have never felt so helpless or so completely broken as a man and as a father in my entire life.