It's coming back
Memories and experiences I thought I had left behind are hunting me and honestly, I don't know what to do. Sometimes it seems so far away and other times it pops up randomly and worsens my day.
I already have a packed schedule: I can't sleep well, my mind can't shut down and I fear no one can understand and I don't know how to approach this because everything seems complicated and tangled.
Childhood trauma is completely crap because you have to sweep up other people's mess.
I just had to get this off my chest
@goldenCamp5679
I understand. I was physically abused by a man 2 years ago, and the PTSD is just getting worse... I feel you *hugs* Here for you! <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
Such things make me so mad because no one deserves these.
*Multiple hugs back* <3
I'm seriously just hanging on a little thread right now because there is pressure from all sides at the moment, and I don't know where to look first (since I just have two God given eyes and one mind lol).
Do you also sometimes invalidate yourself or your experience even though you know what has happened to you was not right? I was sexually assaulted twice (two different people and the first one was for a prolonged period of time) and since it was years ago and the person who did it is dead, I sometimes ask myself why I should bother...I can't even be mad at them in the present or reason with them or look them dead in the eye for some reason. Nada. And it's eating me up. And what if maybe it never happened like it's in my mind. What if it's all in my head?
I'm sorry for ranting. My mind is just so loud..
I get it. Sometimes I think it was my fault, because reasons, but no matter what, I still didn’t deserve him physically abusing me. That is NEVER ok.
@jesusredeemedme2425
No, it's absolutely not, and it's NOT your fault either. There is no excuse for that matter anyway!!!
It’s not your fault either, and you will overcome this <3 PTSD is the worst… I know how the memories come back at the worst times. :(
How are you doing?