Struggling with betrayal and moving forward after emotional manipulation

I wanted to share my story because I’ve been feeling stuck for a long time, and I’m hoping to hear from people who have been through something similar.

Where I’m from, relationships aren’t very common due to many factors, and cast is the biggest one, so being in one felt like a big thing for me. I trusted her deeply. That trust being broken cut very deeply — it’s not just about the breakup, but how someone I cared for could treat me like that and seem completely fine with it.

I knew her from college — we were very good friends back then. Years later, when she was going through a tough time in her life, she reached out to me, and I helped her through the tough phase financially, emotionally and invested a lot of time. We reconnected and eventually started dating, with both of us keeping marriage in mind and seeing it as a serious, long-term relationship. I even introduced her to my family, which in my culture (typical indian families) is a very big step- something you only do when you are 100% sure you want to marry that person.

Behind my back, she met a guy, formed a bond with him (he too knew she wasnt single), and might even meet him(i found out this later), once upon got caught talking to him gave an excuse like he is just a friend and i was consulting about jobs, etc I kind of believed, as she never showed any suspicious behaviour. Gave a family excuse saying your cast isn't good enough for my family, and behind my back, making me out to be the toxic one, and covering up her cheating, and to keep her "good girl" image intact. At the time, I had no idea she was hiding a new guy, or feeding lies about me to everyone and being caring or considerate about the breakup in front of me and planning all this in reality.

Later, when it was safe for her, she even introduced him as if he were just a friend they’d reconnected with through common friends and now started dating.

Even to cover her tracks further and make sure her own family never learned the truth from anyone, she told them that I was harassing her and that she needed their help. It helped her hide her actions and maintain her image, while making me look like the problem.

I only began to see the full picture almost a year after the breakup, when I was still struggling deeply and decided to talk to a therapist. In just a demo session, they diagnosed me with anxious attachment and explained how her behaviour matched patterns of manipulation and betrayal.

She mirrored me a lot, groomed me emotionally and gaslighted me a lot. She maintained a “good image” publicly but behaved very differently privately. And everything changed when she found a new supply.

Over time, when I was with her, I did start to notice things that didn’t add up, but she was too clever and good at covering things.

Current struggles:

• Deep trust issues — finding it hard to believe people’s intentions

• Triggers from completely ordinary things (e.g., phrases she said during betrayal that now replay in my head, their hidden meanings)

• “What if” thoughts like I should have said this or I should have done that

• Mornings are the worst — waking up with dread and feeling stuck in this loop, “how could she do this”, and “how is she fine doing that to me?" 

•  Feeling that sleep or dreams are easier than facing reality

I’m posting here to connect with anyone who’s gone through something similar, to hear how you coped, and to hopefully get a bit of perspective. Right now, I still feel stuck between anger, hurt, and disbelief.

Wishing everyone here some peace and healing.