TW: SA, SH, and just mental trauma in general

Okay so when I was nine, a girl I saw as a friend who was the same age as me sexually assaulted me every day for half a year and it really mentally messed me up. She knew that I was too scared to tell anyone about what she was doing to me because she made me think they’d be angry at me for what she did. In short, I was always scared that everyone would be angry at me and leave me for what she was doing to me because I thought it was my fault, I was constantly depressed because I hated myself, and I was in a lot of pain from it all. I am still dealing with the trauma from it and I hate it so much.