TW: Voice from the Past...

TW: ABUSE,SA

I work in customer service for a insurance company cold calling our members to complete a health survey. It's a *** job. I get cussed at often. Sometimes by people I know or went to school with because they don't know I am that "Cheryl". People are horrid and crude. Most of the time it just hits me in my PTSD and I take a pill on break. Today...today I dialed my Uncle....My uncle who's voice I have not heard since childhood. My uncle who was kicked out of the family for SA my cousins. It was thankfully a vm. I left the message and hung up. I don't even remember what I said. Immediately after I get an inbound call from a customer mad we are leaving too many vm telling me I'm a B-word and dumb C. I'm in cold sweats and just have to keep on trucking like this is just a normal day. I put in chat what is going on and get 0 nothing from my managers not a thing. I'm a hott mess rn. I have no idea what I've said or done the last 2 hrs but masking has been heavy I'm exhausted. Why does this feel like a war zone not work????