The Art of Forgiveness?
Forgiveness, Sun Tzu didn't write a book on this.
What is forgiveness?
Dictionary states:
"The action or process of forgiving or being forgiven."
Really doesn't say much does it?
Wikipedia states:
"in a psychological sense, is the intentional and voluntary process by
which one who may initially feel victimized or wronged, goes through a change
in feelings and attitude regarding a given offender, and overcomes the impact
of the offense including negative emotions such as resentment and a desire for
vengeance (however justified it might be)."
That almost feels like it says Dissociative. What do you think?
When we go to the Higher Power and ask for 'forgiveness' are
we asking for a pardon?
I get the meaning of the "To forgive isn't for the offender. It is for the
victim. To release oneself. To be set free from the burden."
The words are beautiful. The visualization is full of color.
But also the words seem empty.
Why is that?
Am I sounding like Mickey Rooney?
How does one give Forgiveness?
Without an understanding in the internal process, it feels empty and meaningless.
How do you Forgive?
@Barltik2065
I have always been one to say that I would rather ask for forgiveness then permission but the truth is I never ask for forgiveness.
I am also not quick to forgive others. I might consider it if someone asks for forgiveness but that never happens. If they don't feel bad enough to voice their regrets then I don't see any reason to be forgiving.
@Gettingbettertoday
I hear you and understand.
I am forever being told and hearing "Forgive". And how it is 'the right thing'
If we're arguing over definitions, here's one: Forgive- "To give up resentment against or stop wanting to punish someone for an offense or a fault; pardon."
I hate that people equate forgiveness to being a step to begin healing. It's not. Closure is what helps begin healing. As someone who has had been gaslit into thinking that I hold grudges because I have anger towards someone or a situation that I feel wronged by, that's not what it is. What I wanted was justice, I wanted someone to be accountable for what they did. Having trauma does not equate to having a grudge.
I don't even want revenge on the people that wronged me, I just want to forget their existence and not have them in my vicinity ever again. If they're making steps to atone for what they've done, THEN I can consider whether or not I want to forgive them. Forgiveness is not automatic, it's earned.