Trauma

Every time I walk to work I am hyper aware and vigilant to threats when  people make super uncomfortable eye contact with me and do not look away. I keep looking over my shoulder if they are following and angry at myself for not speaking up to say “ Stop looking at me !” And just keep walking which feels “weak” instead of confronting the problem.

It has to be due to trauma for the ongoing month I’ve been repeatedly threatened, harassed and stalked by homeless near my home. And so I’ve missed many days of work because I am afraid to leave my home.

However , home is no longer my safe space as I overheard and witnessed the dead body removal of the tenant next door to me. And I’ve asked my property manager if I may move. But I don’t know how to respond to my property manager asking me “ Do I understand what happened?”

I’ve already explained how I am aware of an incident next door, how the decomposing smell from there is now in my unit, how I feel nauseous, loos of appetite, unable to sleep, don’t feel safe or comfortable, anxious, traumatized by it all.

My mind spirals into are they suggesting I had something to do with the neighbors death?? Are they needed me to explain I overheard the police and saw the funeral service remove the body?? And if I say that will that give them means to evict me because they will view me as a threat to share this to other renters making the company look at fault? And/or I am being nosy and troublesome for them so they would not want to work with me again? Make my rental history look bad for the future ??

I am also frustrated with the business who said they would look for security footage of a harassment incident so I may file a police report with evidence have taken over a month with no confirmation they have footage. I sent them a photo of the perpetrator for reference to locate if found on tape.

Both the front desk staff and office manager have said they have never seen the perpetrator and now the executive director says it’s the business developmentally disabled volunteer and the family wants to contact me. However the business will get my permission before sharing that. Yet now I have just received an email from the perpetrator family and I did not authorize the business to give that out.

I fear the perpetrator’s family knows my email so they will harass me more and hack my email allowing they access to my private email conversations and contacts and find out where I live and where I work and who I am and will hurt me just for speaking out of their brothers threatening behavior.

This business is being very unprofessional and uncooperative by not addressing their volunteer’s behavior themselves and instead just tell me they are disabled as an excuse and have the family talk to me about it.

At this point I am conflicted with do I just let this matter go seeing how they are not taking this matter of concern seriously. I hate not having a resolution to a problem.

And do I even bother at this point addressing how dissatisfied I am with their service and not taking the steps to prevent their volunteer from more threatening harassment and how I never gave consent to have my contact information shared. And the misleading identification of this perpetrator.