Traumatized after brutal discard

My girlfriend of 10 years, and mother of my child, discarded me brutally in December. She was granted a temporary civil no contact order based on false allegations of domestic abuse, which was dismissed at the hearing.

She maintained no contact after the dismissal and withheld my son for two months. I filed for custody the day I was served with her no contact order and now enjoy court ordered 50/50 custody with my son.

That helped immensely with my pain but the pain still lingers and it is deep. I love and miss her dearly. I have developed CPTSD with severe anxiety and it's turning into depression. My fingers shake constantly from the trauma. I can't sleep more than 2-3 hours. I still live in the same house. The vast majority of her and her daughters things are still here, creating constant triggers for me. She claims her things are "lost forever" and refuses to come in the house.

She has completely rewritten our relationship, uses black and white thinking to paint me as all bad, and her as never having a happy moment in the relationship and that hurts me deeply. She's been by my side through so much and as have I to her, and we've enjoyed a relationship I would characterize as 95% good times. Yes we argued and fought, but it wasn't frequent enough to define the relationship on it. I can't believe she can just erase 10 years of history and discard me as if I am a piece of garbage. She means so much to me and I could never in a million years do this to her. I feel so worthless... that somebody I care for so much could do this to me, and not care about the pain I'm going through.