Trigger warning COCSA

I’m someone that has faced cocsa in my childhood and am currently dealing with severe guilt over what happened. I had this group of friends and we used to goof off and not care about being naked and used to think it was funny. Then this one girl invited us to her house and started to persuade us to indulge in sexual stuff and it felt so gross and weird. To top it off I was 11 years old at the time and this kid must have been around 9 years old and somehow they had more knowledge than me and were more mature. I wish I had said no and not gone with what she said we should do. It feels so yucky to me. After, me and my friends set boundaries and agreed on the fact that what happened was weird and awkward and gross.