You can always get back up again

My life started off just like any others. I was born into a family. No one knows when they're younger what they're going to go through as they grow and mature. I used to me anormal kid. Toddling around, not a care in the world. Now I'm diagnosed with so many things therapists often joke that they just gifted me the entire alphabet. 

I have PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), RAD (Reactive Attatchment Disorder), I am diagnosed as Bipolar, BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), ADHD (Attention Defecit Hyperactivity Disorder), Anxiety, Depression, and am also paranoid. 

It's like my danger sensors are always on. I can't sleep with people around. I can't listen to music in a crowd. I can't just live. But I can try, and I always do. 

My trauma is a constant reminder that it will always be harder for me to reach out and have an actual long standing relationship with someone. But I still try. I still go out and make friends and try my best, and I hope anyone reading this takes this as a little push to do it as well. Even if relationships are harder for you, if you never try you will never see one flourish. If you never water a flower, it never has the chance to grow. 

I grew up around trauma, and I almost let it become my whole self. But then I realized it is not me. It is a part of me, yes, but not the whole me. And I conquer it every day, by looking at it and telling it that it does not define me. I define me. I will try and make relationships, I will slowly learn to trust the people around me, I will go back to sleep no matter how many nightmares I have. Because I am healing. And I know it will take a while, but that doesn't mean that every small step I take doesn't count. 

My trauma still drags me down sometimes, but I always remember that I have the strength to get back up. 🦾

I hope everyone who reads this remembers that healing is a process that can take a while, but even little steps get you to your destination eventually. 💕