i don’t know where else to turn
i am here, with all these emotions and heavy weighted thoughts, and nowhere to put them. i have been struggling immensely and don’t know how to ask for help, or how to talk about it.
i was in therapy for years, medicated and under treatment, hospitalized and all. currently, i am still medicated, but not correctly, nor am i being honest with my doctors about how i am feeling. i am not in therapy, i can’t afford it. i don’t know where else to turn, i don’t know how to start over and seek proper treatment. i don’t know how to admit to the people around me that i haven’t been doing well. i am really good at pretending like everything is okay, i am extremely high functioning, though i am worried i may fall back into old habits and i’m scared.
@AlexaAmoroso2
I'm really glad you shared this here. It takes so much strength to admit what you're feeling, especially when everything inside you feels too heavy to carry, too tangled to speak out loud. What you're going through is real, and it matters. You matter. You’re not weak for struggling. You’re not broken because you’re overwhelmed. You’ve been through a lot hospitalization, medications, therapy and it’s no small thing to be standing here, still trying, still holding on, even if it doesn’t feel like you are. Being high-functioning can sometimes be a curse in disguise. People think you're fine, you seem fine, and yet inside you're barely keeping yourself together. That loneliness? That pressure? It’s crushing. But it’s not the end of your story. You don’t have to have all the answers right now. You don’t even have to know the how yet. Just start with honesty with yourself. Even saying, I’m not okay is a beginning. You don’t owe anyone perfection, and you’re allowed to ask for help even if you’ve done it before, even if it feels messy or unclear. There is no shame in needing more support. You are not a burden. You are a human being in pain, and pain is not weakness it’s a sign that something needs care and compassion. And you deserve that, truly. Please don’t wait until things get worse. Even small steps a message to a crisis line, a support group, talking to someone you trust can begin to build that bridge back to care. If money is a barrier, there are often low-cost or sliding scale mental health services, even online ones. You deserve proper help, not just survival. You are not alone in this. You are seen. You are heard. And you are worth the effort it takes to heal.
If no one else has told you today I’m proud of you for being here. You’re doing your best and that’s enough.