10 Years of Silence *Trigger Warning*
I was raised LDS (Mormon) and never learned party safety or drinking safety. I didn't know that it was dangerous to take a drink that you didn't make yourself or didn't see being poured. I took the drink and things got fuzzy real fast. There was a pool at this place and everyone went outside but I stayed in. I laid on the couch and started to fall asleep. Someone, a guy, tapped my shoulder and at first I thought I must be laying on his car keys or something. I tried to move but couldn't. I tried to say something but couldn't. He started touching me, reaching down my bra and unbuttoning my jeans. Then he carried me to a bedroom and raped me. When he was done, he left and another guy came in. I was SURE this guy was going to rape me too but he was actually a good guy. Apparently it was his apartment. He freaked out because he could tell what happened and he kept saying, "Oh my god. Oh my god. You're safe now. I won't hurt you. I promise. I promise. You're safe now. It's okay." He pulled my jeans back up and carried me to the next bedroom (his room), set me down on his bed, put the blanket over me, and left the room. I heard him yelling at everyone to get out and go home. Still unable to move, somehow I fell asleep. When I woke up, I just wanted to get home. I opened the bedroom door and the good guy was sleeping on the floor, guarding the room. I went home and never said a word. Until 10 years later, I told my story but didn't want to talk about it. Now I feel like maybe I can.
@RestingBertFace
Thank you for sharing your story here. I'm sorry to hear that you have experienced something traumatic like this. I have also encountered traumatic incidents in my life, and I know what it feels like to feel violated, and to have people do things to you that you did not wish to happen to you, and which there is no reason for. I think it is positive that you are open to talking about this experience after time has passed.
I don't feel that you deserved to go through what you went through at the apartment in which you were in. I don't feel that anybody deserves to be hurt purposefully by other people. What that person did to you was his own choice, and doing. I am hoping that you don't blame yourself for what has happened, as I don't feel that traumatic incidents whereby people become harmed by others are of their own fault. I am hoping that you are able to find ways of coping and healing, in positive, healthy ways. There are trauma victims in this group who have been through similar experiences as yourself, who you can connect with. Talking about, and sharing your experiences may allow you to feel better.
Congrats on having the courage to take the healthy step of talking about what happened with others. I know that for a lot of people, that is not an easy thing to do, and some people may want to stay silent, and hold what they are feeling, and their negative experiences inside. This may allow some people to feel worse.
Wishing you all the best in healing and coping with what has happened to you. I'm hoping you can attain the support which you are looking for here.