16 years of abuse and illness... TW
so i just found this site and im not sure what moved me to post bbut here i am...
So first off i want to warn that this could be painful t read and encourage you to take care of yourself first..
My earliest memory is that of when i was three... And it started with my father sexually assualting me..Though i cant bear to get into detail at the moment,it didnt end there,,,
My father, his youngest brother {whom is only 6 years older than i am}, a stranger, multiple strangers actually, a family friend and a personal friend have all sexually abused me...
As well as i have been physically abused by my mother and father...
Its actually all very confusing because i cant remember it all...
Ive also had cancer three times.. Im now currently 6 years in remisson...
Ive been away from the abuse for about a year and a half, and im finding it more and more difficult to live without it... How do i go from constant abuse to being safe...
That is sexual harassment and child abuse! I can promise you it will get easier. You will probably never get past it but it will get easier a little bit at a time. Congratulations for being in remission! That's fantastic for you!
All i can say is try to look at the bright side of things! Doing that is illegal so they can go to jail for a very long time!
it wasnt just harrasment.. as for the jail thing, Child protective services kept covering up what was happening so there is no proof of it.. the usa system is very flauded...
You are such a strong and brave person. No one should have to go through what you had to. But you will survive through it, and i hope you do so by trying to find and create happiness in your life, for your own self.
It's hard and I struggled with self sabotaging myself for years and continuining to throw myself in abusive or dangerous situations. The trauma stays in your subconscious mind but can be cleared out by the right counseling. Leaving it an open wound will only result to self destructive behaviors, i abused drugs for years to cope with my past. You are a survivor. Your story, i can emphathize with greatly and relate to so much. Find a therapist, dont do what i did. Get profesional help, ptsd is a crucial mental illness.
What you went through was horrifying. I went through similar circumstances as a child. I know how difficult it is to even get as much as you did written out. Telling people didn't seem like an option until very recently in my life. It does help. Even though you may not feel like you are (I've been there), you are strong. You are a survivor.