Afraid no one will believe me
It feels like I have a sign around my neck that says "weak and stupid". A few years ago I was drugged by my then boyfriend, woke up to find him in the act. I tried to stop him but he insisted that I seduced him and that I shouldn't "always play victim".
I never told anyone because he was my boyfriend when it happened and I felt they wouldn't believe me. Or that as my ex said "playing victim" for attention. I thought I could just forget. But I can't.
Now I'm living in another city with a new boyfriend who doesn't know about what happened. And to make things worse, one of our neighbours groped me and I didn't tell my boyfriend about that either....I'm too scared. Too ashamed. So instead I'm sneaking into my own building for fear of being cornered.
I wish I could tell my boyfriend. Or anyone. What if he tells me I'm lying or blames me for not going to the police?
It's fine... This is life... Before trusting anyone.. You must know deep in your heart that is he worth trusting? Does he deserve you?
After u know this well.. You may take your steps... And if u have any more doubts... You're free to drop by and message me anytime
As for your new boyfriend... Go ahead and tell him everything frankly. If he really loved you, he will forget the past and help you move on!
@MohsinSalim786 I know he loves me but I'm afraid he'll think I'm making it up to explain away my odd behaviour. He asked me once if I'd been hurt by someone, I lied and said no. So he might think I'm lying.
@Blixt I saw you give fine advice on another thread - so what would you tell a friend in these circumstances? Treat yourself as you would a friend.
You're not accusing your boyfriend of anything; if he cares about you he should be inclined to take your side, rather than treating what you tell him with suspicion. Just because one time you said nobody had ever hurt you doesn't mean you cannot tell the full truth now. You could explain that your past experiences left you fearful of telling the whole story, and even confess you're still anxious to tell what has really happened but that you trust him to hear your story.
And if you can't trust him to hear you, that's just sad. You deserve to be with someone who wants to know your true life story, who will take your side and not treat your words with suspicion.