Breaking the attachment
Hi all,
I was thinking about something which has been rattling around in my head for a while and wasn't sure where to post it, so if this is the wrong place, I apologise.
Basically, I'm wondering how people get over or conquer the attachment to the traumatic experience you had. I'm sure some people will understand what I'm talking about. I have had some pretty traumatic experiences, I know, though I try to play them down because for me, it's normal - it's all I've known. And I'd like to feel that now I'm older, I'm more 'together', yet when things start going well in my life and will continue that way, my brain decides it's going to freak out and try to spoil everything. And I've figured out the reason for this is fear - I'm attached to the traumatic experiences in my life and I don't know how to let go. I'm scared of what I'll be if I don't define myself by them. I've been that way for so long without realising it that now, I don't know who I would be if I didn't cling to my experiences (and what I feel are my limitations but I know that isn't true).
People have said you just have to let go. That is so much easier said than done! So I'm wondering....does anyone else have this problem? That attachment to their traumatic experiences that they don't want but don't know how to get rid of. And if you did break it, what worked for you?
Thanks :)
Much love,
TW
this is my first ever post or response or anything as such, im a very new user, but have very old experiences haha!
ive found that letting go doesnt work, all this means is pushing it to the unconscious, in my case anyway..
i made a habit of pushing it to the back of my mind then a few months later it would come crashing down again causing me to 'de-rail'. Id feel even more dissapointed in myself than the last time it happened as i usually had more too lose, especially if i felt i had taken a few more steps forward than usual.
what im learning to do is accept it for what it is, accept how i feel towards it, accept that i cannot change it! from acceptance there is potential closure. Instead of ignoring it ever happened and detaching myself i see it for what it is and accept that it has made me who i am today, there are always pro's and con's to a bad situtation. Luckily for us humans the brain can be conditioned to unlearn the negative behaviours/thoughts and simply progress with the good, i guess thats what therapy and meditation helps you do :)