CSA Victim

@leons

My heart aches for you it really does. You're not alone in your experiences or in feeling the way you do, although I know it can feel a very lonely place. You are in no way disgusting, nor have you done anything wrong. It's easy for me to tell you that, but you need to learn to believe it yourself. That can be a hard thing to do, especially when battling with guilt and shame. Yet it's not your guilt and shame to carry. It's your abusers.

The odd thing about shame - it's the thing we least want to talk about, but it's most important we do. Carrying all that yourself is like serving a life sentence for someone else's crime. But talking about it will ultimately help you manage it. You may not forget it, but you can find a context for it, identify that you were blameless - an innocent child.

Youre not disgusting, you're not wrong - abuse is never acceptable. It is not your fault. Please seek support so you can eventually come to accept and believe that yourself.

You're not alone. I'm so sorry that happened to you. You didn't deserve that and it's not your fault! I know it's tempting to pretend it didn't happen but you're healing because of the fact that you do remember. I know doesn't feel like healing right now because it's so painful but acknowledging the fact that it happened will make the memories less painful over time.

That doesn't mean you have to dwell on it, just that by admitting to yourself that it happened you're already making huge progress. And that's something to be proud of!